No Strings Attached
by Lucy H
Summary: Chandler and Monica didn't expect this. [unfinished]
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own them, and I am slowly coming to terms with this.

A little note about this fanfic – it will run to it's own timeline, so don't try to tell me that 'so and so happened before this', etc. 

The club was packed, but two strangers carefully found their way towards one another, as though a magnetic charge pulled them there. 

"Hi," the girl mumbled, and that was the last word that was spoken all evening, as they clung to each other, kissing. The following morning, they woke up in a cheap motel room, shocked at their behaviour. 

"This isn't something I'd normally do," the guy explained, hurriedly.

"M-me either," the girl whispered. "I was, I was _so_ drunk last night, y'know."

"Yeah, uh, I know," he replied. There was an uncomfortable pause. "It, uh, would it be inappropriate if I, like, left now?"

"No, that, that was what I was thinking." Suddenly she thought of something. "Did we, did we use protection?"

He thought for a moment. "I don't know. I can't remember anything – apart from the sex." He smiled. "The sex was good."

"Oh God," she fretted. "I just, I hope we used protection. I couldn't cope with anything else right now. I'm only twenty-one – last night was my birthday," she added.

"Oh, happy birthday," he congratulated her. "I bet we did use protection, I mean, I _never_ have sex without it – actually, I never have sex, so…" He trailed off.

"Seriously?"

"No, just a little joke. It's something I do when I'm uncomfortable," he explained.

She paused. "I, uh, I don't even know your name."

He smiled. "Chandler."

"Oh!" she said. "I'm, uh, my name's Monica."

"Well, I guess I should get going," he said, finally. 

"So, uh, should we exchange numbers, or something?" Monica asked, reluctantly. 

"I think we should just forget about it," Chandler replied. "Put it all behind us. Not, uh, not that I'm trying to be mean or anything, but, uh, you see, I'm sorta in a serious relationship."

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Monica gasped. 

"Oh, don't be. It was just as much my fault. 'Sides," he added, smiling, "Whenever my relationships get heavy, I run. We've only been dating for a couple weeks. It's, just, well, I've got this _feeling_ about her."

"Say no more," Monica laughed. "Well, yeah, let's put all this behind us." She walked to the door. "I'll pay the bill."

"No, no, uh, we paid last night."

"Oh, okay," Monica said. She opened the door. "See ya." As she shut the door and stood in the corridor, she couldn't help feeling as though she had missed out on something special. And she _wished_ that she could remember more about the previous night. 

* * *

"God, Monica, where the hell _were_ you?" a pretty blonde woman was standing by the door of Monica's apartment.

"Just out, Pheebs," Monica said, annoyed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I must've forgotten to check there," Pheebs snapped. "Ross and I were worried sick, Monica!"

"Monica?" a voice called from inside. A tall guy appeared from the apartment. 

"Hey Ross," Monica said, in an exaggeratedly casual voice. 

"Monica, you were out _all night_!" Ross said, obviously angry. 

"I'm twenty-one, I can do what I like," Monica retorted, as angry as he was. "You're my brother, not my keeper. And the same for you, Phoebe. I can look after myself!" She walked into the apartment, and slammed the door to her bedroom, hard. 

"Try and find out what she did, will you, Pheebs?" Ross begged. "I've gotta go meet Rachel. We've got a lunch date, and I don't particularly want to miss it because of my bratty kid sister."

"I still can't believe you married a _teenager_," Phoebe mused.

"Hey!" Ross exclaimed. "She's twenty. Besides, age has nothing to do with it."

"I was just joking," Phoebe laughed. "Now go! Don't want to be late for your meeting with Rachel, do you?"

Ross laughed, and left. Phoebe knocked on Monica's door.

Monica was lying on her bed, annoyed with herself, with Ross, with Phoebe, even with Chandler. He should never have slept with her – she should never have slept with him. Sure, she'd had sex before, but never with a random guy she'd picked up from a club – never without knowing his _name_. And what right did Ross and Phoebe have to get so angry with her?

"Get lost, Pheebs!" she moaned, in answer to the knock.

"No. Monica, just tell me what you did," Phoebe insisted, coming in. 

For the first time, Monica looked at her roommate's face. She looked tired, and worried. She'd probably been up all night, wondering where Monica was. So, she took a deep breath, and began.

"I went to a club," she said. "I didn't tell you, cos I knew you'd want to come, and, well, I just wanted to get drunk, and have it over and done with. I mean, twenty-one. When I was twenty-one, I was meant to have had at least one serious boyfriend, and maybe have graduated from college, and maybe even been engaged. But look at me, Pheebs! I'm twenty-one, I've _never_ had a proper boyfriend, I dropped out of _high school_ when I was seventeen, I'm not exactly gonna get a university degree, am I?" 

"But, Monica…" Phoebe began.

"I know, it doesn't matter where I am now, goals can change, yada-yada-yada, Pheebs. But none of that changes the fact that I'm not exactly the best person on the planet right now. So I just went and got drunk at this club, there's nothing illegal in that is there?"

"Nuh-uh."

"And when I was _there_, I met this guy, and we ended up staying the night at this motel in the city," she confessed.

"Woohoo, you go girl!" Phoebe said, excitedly. "What's his name, number, star sign, how old is he?"

Monica shook her head. "I sorta don't know. His name's Chandler, but I don't know the rest of it. It was just sex, Pheebs, nothing more."

"Monica!" Phoebe sounded shocked. "You just slept with a guy and you're not gonna call him?"

"It's not like that," Monica replied. "He's already in a relationship. Nothing else is ever gonna happen with it. It was just a one-night stand, no strings attached."

* * *

But she was wrong. She didn't realise it until several weeks later, but she was very wrong. 


	2. Kendra's Problem

It was a beautifully sunny day in Long Island, almost fourteen years after Monica and Chandler had had their night together. In that time, a lot had changed for Monica Geller.

"Mom, hey, Mom!" a thirteen-year-old girl in a wheelchair whizzed into Monica's large three-storey house, a younger boy behind her. Despite the age difference, they were great friends.

"Not so fast, Kendra," Monica replied, calmly.

"Yeah, Kendra!" the boy mocked.

"Stop it, Ben!" Kendra moaned. 

"Stop it, Ben!" he mimicked.

"Ben, do you think your mom and dad would like to know that you were teasing Kendra?" Monica asked.

Ben shook his head. "I was just trying to have a bit of fun, Aunt Monica," he explained. "And I'd sure as hell wallop anyone else I saw doing it," he added.

"You shouldn't say 'hell'," Monica rebuked him. 

"Sorry," Ben said.

"You say 'hell' an awful lot," Kendra pointed out. 

"But I'm an adult, and I—"

"Can do a lot of things that children shouldn't," Ben and Kendra joined in. This was a speech that Monica made at least twice a week. 

"Well, anyways, Mom, guess what?" Kendra asked.

"What, sweetie-pie?" Monica replied. She never bothered guessing.

"Uncle Ross 'n' Auntie Rachel are coming for dinner tonight," Kendra said, smiling. 

"And me and Emily and Julia," Ben piped up. "Mom and Dad say they've got _big news_, whatever that is. I don't know. So we're all coming for dinner – if you don't mind," he added.

"That's wonderful!" Monica said, sincerely. 

"Oh, and they said that Ben could stay 'til they come," Kendra added. "So you don't hafta worry about taking him home."

"She wouldn't hafta do that anyways," Ben protested. "I _am_ eleven."

Monica let them bicker until Phoebe came home. She and Monica shared the house, which they had bought when it had become obvious that Monica's pregnancy meant they could no longer keep their apartment.

"Hi you guys!" Phoebe called.

"Hi Aunt Phoebe!" Ben and Kendra chorused. 

"Hey Pheebs," Monica said, smiling. "Ross and Rachel are coming round this evening, so I'm gonna go cook. D'you wanna be in charge of these guys?"

"We don't need anyone to _be in charge_ of us!" Kendra retorted. "I'm thirteen, and Ben's eleven. Why would we need anyone to look after us?"

"Maybe because the last time no one was looking after you, Ben fell in the pool?" Phoebe suggested.

"That was just a, a minor error in calculating where the pool was," Kendra said. Monica looked at her, wondering. She certainly seemed to have a lot of the characteristics of the father whom she had never known. Hadn't he once said that he made jokes when uneasy?

"Look, I'll just sit a little way away," Phoebe tried to compromise. "That way, I can't hear your conversation, and you can't hear mine, right?"

"You're gonna be having a conversation with yourself?" Kendra asked.

"Ken, how long have we known Phoebe?" Ben asked, sarcastically. "We _know_ what she's like."

"Good point," Kendra laughed. "So, who're you gonna be talking to today? Your mom?"

Phoebe shook her head. "John Lennon," she said. "Or maybe Elvis – I'm not sure yet."

Monica smiled. She was still the same old Pheebs that she had always been. "Okay, Pheebs, you go chat with your dead singers, and let the kids get on with what they're doing." She shooed them out of her kitchen, and settled to cooking.

Outside, Ben and Kendra were talking by the poolside. The pool had been built for Kendra, when it was discovered that she could actually move her legs slightly in the water. 

"We've got to do this project at school," Kendra said, glumly. She attended a special school, for children with disabilities. Ben just went to a normal Manhattan private school.

"Ugh, I hate projects," Ben sympathised.

"Wait 'til you hear what it's about," Kendra said. "I've gotta do a _family tree_. Like, my mom, my mom's parents and brothers and sisters and stuff, and my _dad_. I don't even know my dad!"

Ben thought for a moment. "Maybe, uh, maybe you should try and find him."

"What's to say he'd even want me?" Kendra countered. "I mean, what if he knew about my, y'know, my problem? And what if that was why he left?"

"Who wouldn't want you?" Ben asked. "I mean, you're funny, and you're a great friend."

"But maybe not a great daughter," Kendra sighed. "Chances are, he wouldn't want a girl springing up out of nowhere claiming to be his daughter. And if he wouldn't want a regular girl—"

"You're a regular girl!" Ben interrupted hurriedly.

"I'm _not_, though, am I?" Kendra said. "I've got cerebral palsy. It doesn't matter to _me_, or to Mom, or you or Phoebe, or anyone I know, but it might matter to a prospective dad. If you had the choice of a healthy daughter who could walk, or a daughter who had spastic diplegia, who would you choose?"

"I'd choose—" Ben began.

"You'd choose the one that could walk, not the one that needed a wheelchair," Kendra finished for him. "I mean, I bet that he wouldn't be wild about finding that he even _had_ a teenage daughter, so—"

"Monica's coming!" Ben hissed suddenly. Kendra shut up quickly, and they both looked up to see Monica walking over to them, smiling.

"Want a drink, guys?" she queried. Monica was a successful chef, and she loved making food and drinks for her friends and the two children. She only worked whilst Kendra was at school, and her employers were very sympathetic to her. 

"Can I have a lemonade, please?" Kendra asked.

"Orange juice, please, Aunt Monica," Ben requested. 

"Coming right up," Monica laughed, and went off to the kitchen. 

She got the drinks quickly, and handed them to the children. Then, she sat down at the kitchen table, and thought. Kendra wanted a father, she missed a father, she thought a father wouldn't want her because of her disability. For most of her life, Ross, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and, to a lesser extent, Ben, had all made Kendra feel comfortable with the cerebral palsy, and Monica had never known that she felt this way. 

Since Monica had slept with Chandler, a lot had happened. She and Phoebe had moved to a house just out of the city as soon as Monica's pregnancy with Kendra was discovered. Ross and Rachel had followed almost a year later, moving about ten minutes' walk away from Monica and Phoebe's house, their reason being that they wanted to start a family, and were uncomfortable doing that in the middle of the city. Ben had arrived, followed by his sisters, Emily, who was now six, and Julia, who was four.

Phoebe and Monica hadn't had serious relationships – Phoebe said she didn't have the time for anyone apart from Ryan, her 'submarine guy', a man whom she loved, but who was in the Navy, and only resurfaced once every two years. Monica had no time for anyone apart from Kendra, although she had dated one of her parents' friends for a few months. Kendra had had cerebral palsy from the time she was four months old, after she had meningitis. Because of that, she was pretty much paralysed from the waist downwards. Because of this, Phoebe and Monica had turned their sitting room into a bedroom for her, and they had had their house renovated so that it was suitable for Kendra's wheelchair. In all of that time, they had not let Kendra resent her paralysis in any way. Sometimes she had been annoyed when Ben had arrived home from school with tales of playing football, or ice hockey, or when she saw people on the Olympics on television – she'd automatically put herself down. But everyone had made it clear that they loved Kendra despite the wheelchair, and anyone who mattered would do the same.

"Mon?" Phoebe said, coming into the kitchen. "What's wrong, Mon?"

Monica shook her head, startled to find that there were traces of tears on her cheeks. "I, I was just thinking…" she said, softly, looking out of the window.

Phoebe followed her glance. "Kendra? Yeah, it's unfair, Mon, but there's nothing we can _do_ about it. We've just got to keep on loving her, despite anything. She's still Kendra, with or without cerebral palsy, Monica." 

Monica shook her head. "I wasn't thinking about that," she said. "I just heard her talking to Ben. She thinks that her father left because of her disability."

"Ohh…" Phoebe moaned. "That poor girl." 

"And she thinks that even if he came back, he wouldn't want her. Because of, well, because she's got cerebral palsy." Monica sighed.

"If he did that, then he'd be a right b—" Phoebe began.

"I know," Monica murmured. "But, well, I'll never see him again, will I? It was one night, fourteen years ago."

"You could find him," Phoebe suggested. 

"No." Monica blew her fringe off her face. "No, I've tried. It's impossible. Where could I start?"

"What was his name?" Phoebe asked.

"I only knew his first name," Monica reminded her. "Chandler. It's an odd name, but I can't find anything. I tried, years ago, when I found out I was pregnant, I tried going to that club, and waiting to see if he came, and I asked at that motel, but they wouldn't tell me anything – legal stuff, I guess."

"Hire a detective," was Phoebe's next idea.

"Pheebs, where would I find the money? I'm a single mom, remember? 'Sides, I know his _name_. I don't even really remember what he looked like, and I can hardly go to a detective and give a list of his sexual habits, can I?" Monica demanded.

"Yeah, no—" Phoebe was cut off by the doorbell.

"Ross and Rachel!" Monica gasped. "They're early!" She bolted to the door, followed by Phoebe, and found her brother and sister-in-law standing there, with their daughters, six-year-old Emily and four-year-old Julia.

"Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom!" Emily muttered, running past Monica and Phoebe.

"She's been needing the bathroom all the way since home," Rachel confessed. "Sorry."

"Ah, no worries," Monica smiled. "Ben and Kendra are out the back," she added. "Let's go tell them we're here, shall we?" 

"It can wait a moment," Ross said, putting out a hand to stop her. "We've got a favour to ask of you," he explained.

"Julia, sweetie, could you go find Ben and Kendra?" Rachel asked. Julia nodded and ran off.

"Let's, let's sit down," Monica proposed. They all wandered into the sitting room, and Ross looked at Monica and Phoebe.

"Mon, Pheebs, uh, we need to ask you something," he began.

"Do you want us to look after the kids?" Phoebe asked. "'Cause I _love_ babysitting!" she added, happily.

"No, that's not it," Ross said. "Uh, well, I've got this friend, from college, he was my roommate. Anyway, his wife's just died, and he's devastated."

"Get to the point," Rachel told him, smiling.

"'Kay. Um, well, he doesn't want to stay in London, that, that's where he lived, well, 'cause of the memories of his wife. So, uh, he asked me if I could let him stay for a few weeks, just while he got settled over here. But, well, we've got the kids, and the house is pretty small anyway, I mean, Emily and Julia hafta share a room. So I said _I_ couldn't, but I knew some people who would _love_ to let him stay."

"You, you've got a guest room," Monica pointed out.

"Yeah, but he's got two kids coming with him," Rachel explained. 

"Wait, you want _us_ to have a stranger to stay with us for a few weeks, with two children?" Phoebe asked.

"In a nutshell, yeah," Ross agreed. "And he's not a stranger. I've known him for years. He, he moved to London about thirteen years ago with his wife, and, well, the kids need to get away from the memories of their mom. I mean, uh, the boy, he's only, like, five. And the girl, I think she's twelve."

"What about Kendra?" Monica said.

"She'll love having a girl to share stuff with!" Rachel enthused. "She doesn't have enough friends of her own age."

"She's got Ben," Monica defended her daughter. 

"Precisely," Ben's mother said. "He's an eleven-year-old _boy_, Monica. It'll do Kendra worlds of good to have Alice with her for a few weeks."

"Do you think we should?" Phoebe asked Monica.

"I don't know. I mean, I hate to think of two poor kids by themselves on the streets – and this guy, if his wife's just died, he should be okay," Monica mused. 

"So we'll do it?" Phoebe checked.

Monica sighed. "Why not?"

"Great!" Ross cried. "I'll go phone Chandler and tell him!"

Monica and Phoebe looked at one another. _Chandler_? It couldn't be.


	3. Monica, Meet Chandler

"Chandler?" Monica repeated. "I, uh, I didn't know you had a friend called Chandler."

"Yeah," Ross replied, laughing. "Uh, he was gonna come round for Thanksgiving when we were in college, but his dad got sick, and his mom got married, so, well, there ya have it."

"It's an unusual name," Phoebe ventured. "I bet you could go to the ends of the earth and only find _one_ Chandler."

Monica grimaced at her. "Yeah, thanks Pheebs."

Phoebe smiled. "So, what are the kids' names?"

"The girl's called Alice, and they boy, uh, I think he's called Shawn, or Shane, or something like that," Rachel said, thinking hard.

"Shawn," Ross informed her. "Uh, Chandler's gonna be coming on Saturday," he added.

"Two days?" Phoebe gasped. "We'll never be ready to meet—I mean, uh, we'll never be ready by then!"

"Relax, Pheebs," Ross laughed. "You can, uh, just make up a couple beds, maybe put out a few books for the kids, that kinda thing."

Rachel giggled. "No way, honey, we're talking about _Monica_ and _Kendra_ here, aren't we?" 

"Hey!" Monica protested. "No way am I that bad."

"Should you tell her or shall I?" Phoebe quipped.

"Oh, yeah," Rachel said, suddenly. "Uh, Chandler, he's bringing a friend with him, his wife's brother, I think."

"What, we've got to look after _another_ person?" Monica demanded. "No, I'm not doing that. I'm already looking after a disabled child full-time, Ben's always here, I've said I'll look after this guy and his two kids, but I don't have room for another one, and I don't have the time—"

"Easy Mon," Ross broke in. "Joey's gonna be staying with us."

Monica blushed. "Oh right."

"Where?" Phoebe asked. "I mean, you said you didn't have space for anyone."

"He can sleep on the couch in the study," Rachel said, waving the matter away. "He said he'll stay anywhere as long as he can be with Chandler and the kids."

Monica gasped. "Is, is, are, are they, well, uh, y'know…?"

"Are they gay?" Phoebe translated.

Rachel and Ross exchanged a glance. "Mmm…" Rachel made a non-committal noise.

"He, uh, he _looks_ it," Ross added. "But, well, who knows, eh?"

"I guess we should call Kendra in, and tell her, then," Monica said, after a moment of silence.

"Thank you so much, Monica," Ross said, gratefully. "You won't regret it!"

"I better not," was all Monica said, as she went to fetch Kendra and her cousins.

When they were all assembled, Ross began to speak. "My old friend from college, Chandler, is, uh, coming to stay with Auntie Monica, kids, just for a few weeks."

"What?" Kendra spluttered. "Why didn't you _ask_?"

"I said it was alright," Monica told her. "Why, sweetie?"

"A stranger? Coming to _live_ with us?" Kendra said. "I think you see my problem. He won't be comfortable, and he'll avoid me, just 'cause I've got cerebral palsy!"

Monica paused. Why hadn't she thought of that before agreeing? She opened her mouth to tell Ross that the deal was off. Then she thought of something. What if this Chandler was really Kendra's father? Wouldn't it be wonderful? She smiled at Kendra.

"I'm sure it'll be okay, honey," she said, comfortingly.

"I told him about you," Ross told Kendra. "And he's absolutely _fine_ with it! Don't worry, Kendra, you'll just _love_ Chandler. And I'm sure you'll get along marvellously with Alice and Shawn," he added.

"Who?" Ben asked.

"Alice and Shawn," Rachel said. "Chandler's two children. See, his wife in England just died, and he wants to move back to the States with his kids."

"England?" Emily asked, awed. "That's _far_."

"Like the park?" Julia said. "That's far, you have to go in the car to get there."

"Even farrer," Emily told her. "It's across the ocean."

"Wow," Julia said. The two lapsed into silence again, as the grown-ups began to talk.

"I guess Chandler will hafta sleep in the guest room," Phoebe said, thinking.

"And Shawn can sleep in the study, there's a futon in there," Monica added.

"What about Alice?" Ross asked.

"The small sitting room?" Kendra suggested. "If you can stand the mess, that'll do, Mom."

"Mess?" Monica repeated, panicking. 

"If you don't want to be hassled by the mess, Shawn could go in the guest room with Chandler," Rachel mused. "Then Alice could have the study for her room."

"That's better," Phoebe agreed. 

"Well, uh, I reckon dinner's about ready," Monica announced. "If you guys go get settled, Kendra, will you help me with the food?"

Kendra nodded, and she and her mother departed to the kitchen.

"Kendra, are you okay with this?" Monica asked.

Kendra considered. "I guess." She paused. "No. I don't want a guy coming here and, and staring at my chair the whole time, and wondering what the matter is with me, and being uncomfortable around me for weeks."

Monica sighed. "Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. I, I guess I should have talked it through with you first, only, well, it's just that…" She trailed off.

"What?" asked Kendra, noting that her mother had gone bright red. "Please, Mom, _any_thing that might make me warm to this guy will be welcome."

Monica took a deep breath. "I don't know, sweetie, so don't hold me to this one. I'll tell you as soon as I can what the definite thing is, and I _don't want what I say to be broadcast outside of this room_. I especially don't want you to let it affect the way you act around Chandler and Alice and Shawn."

"What, Mom?" Kendra said, worried now. "Do you know him?"

"I might do." Off Kendra's look, she added, "Sweetie, please! I'm not trying to be evasive here. I honestly don't know whether I do or not, Kendra."

"Well how _might_ you know him?" she asked. Suddenly, a light dawned. "Oh God, he's my father isn't he?"

Monica shushed her. "Kendra, quiet!" She sighed. "He might be. Your father, I only ever knew him for one night, baby. And, well, all I knew about him was his name."

"Chandler." It wasn't a question. "You had a one-night stand with a guy named Chandler." She paused. "Does anyone _know_?"

Monica nodded. "Phoebe."

"Guys!" Phoebe appeared at that moment. "C'mon, we're hung—" She trailed off, looking from Monica to Kendra. "You told her, didn't you?"

"About my dad? Yeah," Kendra replied, flatly. "Mom, y'know what? I'm, I'm not so hungry. I think it's the heat." With that, she left the kitchen. 

* * *

Two days later, Kendra had gotten used to the idea of her father coming. She hadn't even told Ben the truth, something unusual for her – she generally shared all her secrets with her cousin.

When a car was heard outside, Monica called to Phoebe and Kendra. "Guys! They're here!" she yelled, somewhat nervously. 

The three gathered by the door, worried. The car door opened, and a tall twelve-year-old got out. She had dark hair and eyes, and looked older than her years. She was followed by a little boy, blond-haired and blue-eyed. Rachel led them up the walk.

"Guys, these are Alice May and Shawn Bing," she introduced them. "And this," she added, gesturing to a handsome man with dark blond hair, "is Chandler Bing."

Instant recognition flashed into Chandler's eyes. "Monica."

The same recognition appeared in Monica's eyes. "Chandler, nice to see you."


	4. A String Named Kendra

"Chandler, nice to see you." It seemed an eternity before the next words came out.

"Hi, I'm Phoebe," said that lady, noticing the looks that were being flashed between Chandler and Monica. She wondered if Kendra had noticed them.
"Kendra," said a faint voice from by Phoebe's elbow, giving Phoebe no doubt but that Kendra had noticed. 
"Hi," said the girl that Rachel had introduced as Alice. 
Before there was a chance for further conversation, Ross' car drew up by the front gate, and he stepped out, followed by another man. Ben, Emily and Julia tumbled out from the back seat, and they raced up to the front door.
"Hey, guys!" Ross said, smiling. "Uh, this is Joey Tribbiani. Joey, these are my sister Monica, her daughter Kendra, and her friend Phoebe."
"Hi!" Joey said, brightly, and Phoebe giggled. Noticing that, Joey went over to her. "Hey, how _you_ doin'?" he asked, and she giggled even more.
"F-fine," she finally managed to stammer out. "Uh, you're gonna be living with Ross, right?"
"Yeah… pity. I'd like to get to know _you_ better," Joey said, filling his speech with innuendoes. 
Ben raced up to Kendra. "Hi!"
"Hi Ben," Kendra greeted him. She turned to Alice. "Uh, this is my cousin Ben."
"I saw him at the airport," Alice replied, quietly. She had a strong accent, but Kendra couldn't quite work out what accent it was. It certainly wasn't the stereotypical British accent.
"Let's go inside," Ben suggested, grabbing a hold of one of Alice's bags. 
"Yeah!" Kendra enthused. "We can show you where you'll be sleeping! Maybe you should get your brother as well?" she added. 
"Neh," Alice disagreed. "He's clingy… wouldn't leave Dad." She clutched another bag into her hand, and followed Kendra. 
"Wait," Ben said. "Kendra can't come upstairs."
"But Mom 'n' I did the study out for Alice," Kendra replied. "Shawn and Chandler are gonna have the guestroom – you don't mind?" she added to Alice.
Alice shook her head. "Be good for me to be away from Shawn." 
At this point, Emily and Julia ran in. "Where ya goin'?" Julia asked.
"To see Alice's room," Ben replied. 
"Can we come?" Emily demanded. 
"Sure," Alice said, laughing. "C'mon." They entered the room that Monica and Kendra had arranged for Alice. It was recognisable as a study, with a large desk, but also fairly recognisable as a bedroom. There was a sofa bed in there, made up as a proper bed, with a flowered duvet. 
"Oh, you should hear what fun Mom and Phoebe and I had with this bedspread," Kendra laughed.
"What?" Alice and Ben said together.
"Oh, we were making up the bed this morning, and Mom _insisted_ that the tag was at the left-hand bottom, and the flowers had to point upwards," Kendra explained.
"That's not so bad," Alice replied. "Ooh, you should see my dad when 'e gets going."
"Wait 'til you hear _why_," Kendra continued. "Mom wanted the flowers to face upwards, y'know, to the head, cos that's where the _sun_ would be."
The children laughed. "She's a freak!" Ben exclaimed.
Meanwhile, the grown-ups and Shawn were in the living room. "So, Chandler, what's it like to be back in the good ol' US of A?" Rachel asked, smiling.
"Yeah, pretty good," Chandler replied with a laugh. "I mean, I'm gonna hafta get used to driving different cars and stuff, but there's much better TV here, if I remember rightly!"
"TV baby!" Joey cried.
Monica still seemed slightly dazed, but she woke herself up enough to ask, "So, uh, how long did you live in England?"
"I've lived there all my life," Joey replied. "My mom's American, and my dad's Italian, but I've lived all my life in England." Monica was shocked. He had an American accent, and yet he'd spent his entire life in England?
"I moved there about thirteen years ago," Chandler said, thinking hard. "It was just before I married Mary, I think. Cos she's Joey's sister, y'see, Mary-Angela, she wanted to go back to her home country."
"So, you-you're brothers?" Phoebe asked.
"Eh, brother-in-laws. More like friends, really," Chandler said. "He's been really good to me these past coupla months, y'know, since Mary and the baby died."
"Baby?" repeated Ross. "Ow!" he yelped, as Rachel kicked him.
"Eh, it's okay. Mary was pregnant when she was killed – car crash," Chandler said, abruptly. "It was nearly five months ago, I've had time to cope."
"I'm sorry," Monica said, softly. Chandler caught her eye and smiled at her. She looked down suddenly, and blushed. Phoebe caught the look and the blush. Was there still a spark? Had there ever been one?
"So, uh, yeah, where in England did you live?" Phoebe asked, trying to find a happier subject.
"Birmingham," Joey replied. "Well, a little way away from there, actually. Called Walsall, it's an awful place."
"Yeah, Alice had lots of friends there, she went to a good school," Chandler added. "Shawn had a few little friends too."
"What grade was Alice in?" Rachel asked.
"Grade?" Joey repeated. "You mean, like, class?"
"She just finished year eight," Chandler said. "That was why we waited 'til now to come out here. Didn't want to uproot her in the middle of a year. It would have been okay for Shawn." He looked at Monica. "So, uh, Monica, how old's your daughter?"
"Kendra? She's thirteen," Monica said, proudly. She wondered if Chandler had worked out that Kendra was _his_ daughter. "She's goin' into tenth grade next year – she skipped eighth grade." 
"Yeah, she's not dumb," Ross added. "She's a great kid, Kendra. She just takes everything – even the cerebral palsy – in her stride."
"What's that?" Joey asked.
Monica resigned herself to explaining the ins and outs of Kendra's disability. "Well, basically, she's paralysed from the waist down, has been ever since she was about six months old."
    
"What caused it?" Chandler asked.
    
"She had meningitis," Monica said, not meeting his eyes. "Most kids recover completely, but Kendra didn't. She hasn't been able to feel or move her legs since she was six months old. The kind of cerebral palsy she's got is called spastic diplegia. It's not something she's gonna grow out of, but she's coping really well with it. I mean, she's got these ambitions, right, she wants to be a writer when she grows up, or a journalist."
    
Chandler smiled. "Hey, I was a journalist."
    
"Cool," Phoebe said. "I reckon Kendra can be as well. I mean, uh, yeah, maybe it's in her genes."
    
Monica shot her a glare. "No one in my family was a writer, Pheebs."
    
"Op, my mistake," Phoebe said, winking at Monica. Rachel saw the wink and wondered at it. 
    
"So, uh, does journalism pay well?" asked Ross, after a slight silence.
    
"Eh, so-so," Chandler replied. "We were alright, I guess. I mean, Mary didn't work, but we had each other, and we had the kids – and Joey. I mean, money can't buy happiness, can it?"
    
Rachel shook her finger at him. "Ah, you just don't know where to shop!"
    
"Daddy," spoke up little Shawn, all of a sudden. 
    
"What is it?" Chandler asked, on the alert at once. 
    
Shawn whispered something that none of the others caught. Chandler nodded. "Where's your toilet?" he asked.
    
"Oh, he needs the bathroom?" Monica said. "Here, I'll show you, it's just down there. Hey, c'mon Shawn," she said, beckoning to the boy.
    
Shawn whispered something else to his father. Chandler nodded. "He wants me to come with him and wait outside," he said, apologetically. As they walked into the hallway, he added to Monica, "He's very clingy – ever since, well, he was very close to Mary. Now he thinks that everyone he loves is going to leave him. He doesn't really understand what _death_ is."
    
Monica nodded. "Yeah, Kendra and Ben were like that when nana died. Kendra was about four, I think Ben was two." She broke off. "Here's the bathroom, sweetie," she told Shawn. 
    
"Are you gonna be okay, big guy?" Chandler asked him. 
    
"Mmm," Shawn mumbled. He went into the bathroom, and Chandler and Monica were left alone. They looked at one another awkwardly. Then Chandler broke the silence.
    
"Monica, I, uh, I just wanna say that, well, if you'd rather I didn't stay here, then, uh, I'll find a hotel, I can do that tonight if you'd rather," he said.
    
Monica shook her head. "No, no, it-it's okay, really. I was just, well, I guessed it was gonna be you, I mean, there can't be _two_ Chandlers in the world, can there?"
    
He laughed. "Guess not." He paused. "It was, it was a real shock to me. I, well, what are the chances? But, but seriously, things aren't gonna be awkward between us?"
    
"Relax, it's not like we _dated_ or anything," Monica told him. "I mean, it was just one night – one _very_ passionate night. I mean, there were no feelings involved or anything, and 'sides, it was, what, fourteen years ago?"
    
"Yeah…" Chandler considered this. "Okay, let's just be two people, meeting for the first time today. We had the no-strings-attached sex, right? So let's forget all about the sex and just be _us_. That was all it was, right? No-strings-attached sex. We had one night, nothing else happened, and we're meeting for the first time."
    
Monica looked him in the eye. "But it wasn't."
    
"Wasn't what?"
    
"No strings attached," she said, softly. "There _was_ a string attached."
    
He looked concerned. "What?" 
    
She took a deep breath. "Kendra."


	5. Explanations

"Kendra?" Chandler sputtered. "What, uh, what d'you mean?"

Monica looked at him. "I _mean_, that when we slept together, I got pregnant. And nine months later, I had a baby. That baby was Kendra."

"I, uh, oh, God," he stammered. "I, I had no idea."

Monica laughed. "Yeah, I guessed _that_."

"So, you've, uh, you've just muddled along without a dad for Kendra?" Chandler asked, still trying to comprehend how he could have a daughter.

Monica glared at him. "Y'know, you don't _need_ a father for a kid," she said, haughtily. "Kendra and I are perfectly happy."

"B-but, you've, like, given up _everything_ for her?" Chandler said.

"I've given up some things, yes," Monica replied. "But it's been the greatest thing I could do, Chandler. You gave me, you gave me the greatest gift… that I could ever have." She was starting to cry when Shawn emerged from the bathroom.

"All done!" he said, chirpily.

Chandler nodded, numbly. He turned to Monica. "I don't know what to say," he mumbled. "I don't know whether I can deal with this right now."

"No one's asking you to _deal_ with anything," Monica replied, acidly. "I just thought you should know. I would have felt _really_ guilty if I'd hidden this from you."

Shawn had run off to the sitting room by now, to be with his Uncle Joey. Chandler looked back to Monica. "I feel like I deserted you, Monica. You and Kendra. But, it's, well, I would have been fine with keeping in contact with you, but, well, I felt it was really going somewhere with Mary. I tried to find you, but then Mary told me she was pregnant, and it all happened so fast – we moved to England, we got married, and I almost forgot about you, Monica."

"Eh, get over it," Monica said. "You can't just expect to come and everything's perfect, I know that. You haven't seen me for nearly fourteen years, and even then, it was just _one night_. And you've never met Kendra."

"But she's my daughter," he said, shakily. "I've never met her, but I helped you _create_ her!"

"But you can't expect to have a father-daughter relationship with her the first time you meet, can you?" Monica asked, reasonably. "I mean, you've known Alice for years, right? And you're close with her, but that's because you know all about her and what she likes and stuff. You were there when she was born, you saw her walking for the first time, she goes to you with her problems, right?"

"Yeah. But, well, surely there would be some, well, _connection_ with me and Kendra?" Chandler said, softly.

"No," Monica replied, calmly. "There's no guarantee for anything, you know. Sure, you might get along with her, but at first, I don't think it'll be any different as how you'd get along with, say, Ben."

Chandler was thinking. "Does anyone else know?" he asked.

"Me, Phoebe, Kendra," Monica ticked the names off on her fingers. "That's it. Ross and Rachel don't know, and I don't know if they're ever gonna know."

"Joey!" Chandler gasped. "Oh God, don't tell Joey – or Alice."

"Why not?" Monica asked.

"Cos I was dating Mary Angela when it happened, wasn't I?" he demanded. "And he's still sore about losing Mary and the baby… he wanted to be Uncle Joey again. He was really excited about it, he was gonna be the baby's godfather."

"I'm sorry," Monica mumbled. She was never sure what to do when it came to death.

"It was a girl," Chandler continued. "We were gonna call her Katy – Katy Bing. Mary was nearly eight months pregnant when she was killed. We were, we were going for a sonogram. Mary was dead as soon as the ambulance got her to the hospital. They, they tried to save Katy, but she died before they got her out. I couldn't even cry when they told me." The tears that had not come then came now, and soon he was sobbing like the child he had lost.

"I'm sorry," Monica repeated. She felt useless. Here she was, springing a bombshell of a child on him, when the man was obviously still grieving for his wife and daughter.

Chandler shook his head. "Don't… it's not your fault," he said, trying to stop crying. 

"Chandler, what I said before, about Kendra," Monica began. "Don't, I mean, don't leave 'cause of it. Please!" she begged.

Chandler was shocked. "So, uh, you want me to stay?" he asked, drying his eyes. He suddenly realised how it had sounded, at the same moment that Monica did.

"Not, not in _that_ way!" Monica blurted out. "I just don't wanna kick you out, and, well, I think we could be friends, if, well, if we gave it a try."

Chandler nodded. "Friends with a daughter," he corrected her. "We can, we can do that."

* * *

Alice, Ben, Emily, Julia and Kendra were still talking.

"Did you want to come to New York?" Kendra asked.

Alice thought for a moment. "Mmm. I didn't wan' ter leave me friends, see. But, well, Dad always raved 'bout New York, an' I thought it'ud be fun."

"What's your accent?" Ben queried. "It's not like any English accent I've ever heard."

Alice laughed. "Ent you never heard an accent like this before?" she said. "'S a Midlands accent, I guess," she elaborated. 

"Your dad doesn't have it," Kendra pointed out.

"Neh, 'e's from over 'ere," Alice explained. "Mum an' Uncle Joey, they were from England, though. 'S got an American accent though, does Joey."

"I thought English people had really snooty accents," Emily said.

"Ha!" Alice said, scornfully. "That's a right stereotype. I've never 'eard anyone 'ave such a posh voice as some a those people on the telly do." She paused. "'Cept the Queen, p'raps, an' she's not 'zactly a normal person."

"What's England like?" asked Julia. "Do they have TV there?"

Alice stared. "Sure we do. Good TV an' all!" She looked around. "Right, now I'm goin' ter ask some questions about America."

"Shoot," Kendra said.

"First – what's the schools like? They was 'orrible in England! We 'ad ter work really hard."

Ben thought. "They're okay, I guess. We work pretty hard, but—"

"Ben, Emily, Julia!" Ross' voice called. "We're going home!"

Ben finished his statement quickly. "They're okay." The children all left the room, and entered the sitting room, where the adults and Shawn were.

"There you are," Rachel said, smiling. "So, uh, we're gonna take Mr. Tribbiani—" Joey cut her off.

"Mr. Tribbiani?" he repeated. "My name's _Joey_."

Rachel laughed. "'Kay, so we're gonna take _Joey_ home, and then it's time for Julia to go to bed, I think!" she added, smiling.

"But Mommy…" Julia whined.

"No, Juju," Rachel replied. "Remember, we went over this, didn't we? No coaxing Mommy and Daddy about bedtime. It'll be quarter past eight when we get home, and that's more than time for you to be in bed."

"Ha!" Emily crowed.

"You'll be going to bed soon as well, Ems," Ross pointed out. "Your bedtime is half past eight, remember?"

"Do I _have_ to?" Emily complained. "I don't _wanna_!"

"But you will," Ben said, cheekily. "And _I_ can stay up 'til nine!"

"That's enough, Benjamin!" scolded Rachel. She stood up. "Right, we're off then."

"Bye you guys!" called Phoebe. 

"Yeah, see ya," Kendra and Monica echoed. 

"Where's Uncle Joey goin'?" Shawn asked Chandler, almost crying.

"He's goin' ter stay with them," Alice explained. 

"I don't want Uncle Joey ter go!" Shawn whined. 

"But he has to," Joey said. "Because Monica and Phoebe don't have enough room at their house."

"Are you comin' back?"

"I promise," Joey confirmed. "I'll be back tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. I'll come and see you and Alice as much as I can, okay?" Shawn nodded. "Okay, take care, man," he told Chandler. "Nice to meet you, Monica, Kendra – and it was _great_ to meet you, Pheebs," he added. 

With that, they left. Chandler stood up. "I'm gonna go put this little guy to bed, if that's okay," he told the room. 

"Yeah, it's fine," Monica agreed. "You and Shawn will be sharing a room, you don't mind, do you? It's the room at the top of the stairs."

"Okay, thanks," Chandler said. "Maybe Alice wants to go as well? We had a long flight today." 

"It's only eight o'clock!" Alice protested. "But I could do with goin' ter the loo."

"The what?" Phoebe asked.

"Bathroom," Chandler translated. "C'mon, Allie, I'll show you where that is, then I'll take this one to bed." The Bings left the room, and all eyes turned to Monica.

"What?" she said, noticing Phoebe and Kendra's stares.

"Oh you!" Phoebe said, exasperated. "Is he the one?"

"The one what?" Monica joked. Then, noticing their annoyed looks, she complied. "Yes, he is."

"Does he know?" Phoebe asked. 

"Uh huh. I told him," Monica informed them. 

"So he's my dad?" Kendra said, wide-eyed.

"Yep, sweetie. That's your dad," Monica said, smiling. "And he doesn't want anyone else knowing for now, all right, you two?"

"Not even Ben?" Kendra queried.

"Not even Ben," Monica confirmed. "And especially not Alice."

Kendra's mind was diverted. "I like Alice," she announced. "She's got a weird accent, but she's nice."

"Yeah, I like Chandler," Phoebe said. "And we _know_ that Monica does!" She paused. "And Joey's cute!"

At the same time, Chandler and Alice were talking.

"I like Kendra and the others," Alice was telling her father.

"Yeah, Phoebe and the Gellers are nice, too," Chandler replied. "And Monica's _lovely_."

* * *

That night, the house slept peacefully, little dreaming of what might happen over the next few months.


	6. A Plan

"Mon?" Phoebe yelled, coming into the house one Saturday. "Monica? Kendra? You'll never guess what!"

"Pheebs?" Monica replied, appearing at the top of the stairs.

"Hey, Mon!" Phoebe greeted her. "Good day?"

"Ugh," Monica groaned. "Shawn's got a cold, and Chandler couldn't get the day off work, so I had to stay with him. That kid can moan!"

"Well, I had a great day," Phoebe smiled. "Joey asked me out."

"Phoebe!" Monica squealed. "Seriously? And, what, you said yes, right?"

"Uh, _yeah_!" Phoebe replied, as if Monica was stupid. "Of course!"

"Right," Monica laughed. "So, uh, you excited? I mean – this is huge! It's great, but it's so huge!"

"Uh huh," Phoebe nodded. "Now, all we need is for you to fall in love with Chandler…"

That lunchtime, Phoebe made an announcement about her date. "I'm going on a date with Joey," she said, smiling.

"Bloody hell," Alice replied.

"Alice!" Chandler rebuked her, and turned to Phoebe. "Wow, seriously, Pheebs?"

"Wiv Uncle Joey?" Shawn said, softly. 

"Uh huh," Phoebe said. "He asked me today."

"That's great, Auntie Pheebs," Kendra told her. "But, uh, what about Ryan?"

"Oh, he's gay," said Phoebe, calmly. 

"What?" Monica exploded. "And you never told us? Pheebs!"

"Yeah, no, well, these things, they just slip your mind," Phoebe replied. "It's not that big a deal…"

"Not that big a deal?" Monica repeated.

"Who's Ryan?" Alice hissed to Kendra. "I never 'eard of 'im before."

"This guy she used to date," Kendra answered. "Nice guy."

"Wow, it's been ages since I last had a date," Monica groused. "Gotta be getting on for five years now."

"Five years?" Chandler said, awe-struck. 

"Well, I've got Kendra, it's hard," Monica defended herself. "And, of course, I mean, not that many guys want to date a single mom with a d—" She stopped suddenly. She hadn't forgotten Kendra's complex about her father not wanting her because of her disability. "With a daughter," she amended herself. 

Kendra scowled. She knew what her mother had meant to say… and it hurt. She knew that it had just been a thoughtless slip of the tongue, but still. She wanted so much to be able to run around, and play football with Ben, and to swim properly, rather than just lying limp in the water. And she wanted to be accepted for what she was – Kendra, not just a disabled girl. A cripple.

"So, uh, Joey asked you out?" Chandler said, trying to break the uncomfortable silence. "Well, you're a lucky gal, Pheebs."

"Huh? Why?" Phoebe asked.

"Oh, Joey was one of the most in-demand guys around back in England," Chandler explained.

"Yeah, different girl ev'ry day o' the week," Alice added. "You don't get too 'tatched ter him, Phoebe, cos 'e'll just dump yer like the rest of 'um."

"He won't," Phoebe said, staunchly. "He told me that he _liked_ me, and he'd never felt that way about anyone before."

Chandler and Alice shared a look. Phoebe caught it, and glared at them. "What?"

"Pheebs, as much as we love Joey, he isn't exactly a model of how to treat women," Chandler said, delicately. "He says that to almost every girl he dates."

Phoebe shook her head. "I know. It'll be okay. This time he'll be different."

Alice was sitting in her room, looking at old photos and humming to herself, when Kendra rolled in.

"Hey, Alice," she greeted her.

"Hi," Alice said, in a voice barely above a whisper. She continued humming.

"What's the song?" Kendra asked.

"Song?" Alice said, waking from her reverie. "Oh, that! 'S not a proper one, least I don't _think_ it is. Just one me n me friends used ter sing."

"What is it?" Kendra queried.

"Oh, uh, Charlie 'ad a pigeon," Alice replied. "We sang it in France." Off Kendra's look, she explained herself. "When we went ter France wi' school, see." She began singing. "_Charlie_ had a pigeon, a pigeon, a pigeon, _Charlie_ had a pigeon, a pigeon he had. He flew through the day an' he flew through the night, an' when he got back he was covered in— _Charlie_ had a pigeon—" 

Kendra laughed. "Great song." She craned her head to see the pictures. "Who're they?"

Alice looked. "Those, them's me best friends, and _that_, is me mom. She were really pretty. Dad just _adored_ 'er." She looked up. "Anyways, why're you 'ere? You don't normally come in so late."

"Well…" Kendra hesitated. "I was wondering. Mom seemed so, well, out of it, today, about Pheebs having a date an' all, that, well, I thought maybe we should try an' set Mom up with someone."

"Ye_ah_!" Alice agreed. "Wicked! Who?"

"That's just it," Kendra said. "I was thinking, maybe, you'd have an idea."

Alice thought for a moment. "Hey, how 'bout that guy she works with… that, uh, that woss 'is name, that Gunther? Yuh reckon that'ud work?"

"Gunther?" Kendra replied. "Woah, I, uh, I never thought of that. He's single, I guess. And, well, he likes Mom, and she likes him, yeah! It'd be perfect!"

"So, uh, how'd we get 'em to go on a date?" asked Alice. 

"Well, every month, Gunther comes round to discuss menus with Mom," Kendra mused. "Maybe… that should be soon."

"So, if we, like, put out candles an' stuff, and set it up with a real romanticky feel," Alice continued.

"And ka-boom, you've got yourself instant love!" Kendra finished, laughing.

"D'ya really think it'll work?" Alice queried.

"Maybe," Kendra said, evasively. "Yeah, it might. But, y'know, Gunther's always had this _thing_ for Aunt Rachel."

"Did they date?" 

"Nah. They wouldn't have had time to, anyway," Kendra added. "I mean, Aunt Rachel was married to Uncle Ross by the time she was eighteen."

"Eighteen?" Alice repeated. "Wow, that _is_ young! My mum weren't married 'til she were in 'er twenties."

"Still pretty young," Kendra observed.

"Yeah, but she were havin' me, so nana an' gran said she 'ad ter," Alice explained. 

Monica entered the room at this point. "Hey, girls," she greeted them. "Ross and Rachel are coming round any minute now, with Joey and the kids, so if you wanna see Ben…"

"Uh huh," Kendra replied, and the two went out to meet Ben, who had heard all about Joey and Phoebe's date, and loved the idea of getting Monica and Gunther together.

"But will he like it?" Ben pointed out. "I mean, he's got that thing for Mom, hasn't he?"

"_You_ know about that?" Kendra said, aghast. 

"Yeah, it's kinda obvious," Ben said, laughing at his cousin's expression. "Anyways, Ken, will Monica like it, as well? I mean, I reckon she's still got the hots for your dad."

Kendra started. "Wh-what?"

"Whenever anyone mentions him, she goes bright red – 'specially over the past couple weeks," he added. "You must've noticed!"

"I have," Alice put in. "Either she still likes 'im, or 'e's someone she knows, and she thinks everyone's gonna find out who 'e is."

"Whom," Ben corrected. 

"Okay. _Whom_ 'e is," Alice repeated. "But, serious, is that only recent that she does that?"

Kendra was silent. She hadn't realised that everyone else was able to read Monica's expressions so easily.  

"Yeah," Ben replied. "Like, uh, well, started just before you guys came, I guess." He paused, thinking. "Hey! Maybe it's Chandler or Joey!" He and Alice laughed, obviously finding the idea hilarious. Kendra forced a little laugh too, just in case they noticed anything.

"I'm sure it's just coincidence," she said.

"Yeah," Alice agreed. "I mean, c'mon, Joey? He never even _came_ to America before now. Or me dad? 'E was engaged to me mum thirteen years ago. No way!"

"Yeah," Kendra said, weakly. "Good one, Ben." Inwardly, she was thinking that it would be best to tell Ben then and there, to try and avoid any further confrontations like this. 

"So, when's Gunther coming round?" Ben asked.

"No idea," Kendra replied. "I'll have to ask Mom."

"No, don't," Alice cautioned. "She'll just get sus. Ask Phoebe."

"Phoebe won't know," scoffed Ben. "Wait 'til Monica tells you, Kendy. Doesn't she normally say something?"

"Yeah, she normally arranges for your mom and dad to look after me for the evening, or for Pheebs to take you and me out somewhere," Kendra said, thoughtfully. "And she does that about a week before it happens."

"So, wait 'til then, and then we'll plan," Ben told her. "This'll be great!"

"I know," Kendra replied. "Mom _needs_ a date once in a while."

Sure enough, two days later, Monica told the rest of the household to clear out. "Gunther's coming round to do menus next Wednesday," she explained. "So we'll need quiet – and much as I love you guys, you're not quiet! I thought I'd give you plenty of notice, so you could get stuff planned for the day."

They laughed. "Pity it's in vacation, really," Kendra said, sharing glances with Alice. "Otherwise, you'd have had the house to yourself anyways."

"I've got Shawn in a little summer day camp thing," Chandler told the gang. "He won't be bothering you – and I'll have to work that day. What about you and the girls, Pheebs?"

"I'll take them somewhere," Phoebe replied. "A movie, some food, the park, how's that sound?"

Kendra and Alice nodded. "_Wick_ed," Alice summed up their feelings. 

That dinnertime, Ben arrived to join them. "What's happening with the Monica Project?" he asked.

"Next Wednesday," Alice told him.

"We've got heaps to do," Kendra bubbled. "Food, candles, _timing_!"

"Well, you usually leave just when Gunther arrives, right?" Ben checked. "So, all you'll have to do is, uh, get the food and stuff ready in the dining room, cos that's where they'll work, and then just let Gunther in, and show him into the room."

"Perfect!" Kendra praised. "Now let's think… candles. Have your mom and dad got some, Ben?"

"I guess," Ben replied. "They have these icky _romantic_ nights in, sometimes, so I bet they've got them. I'll have a check round."

"Food," Alice mused. "Take-away, perhaps?"

"Take-away? Like, pizza?" Kendra asked. 

"Yeah – or fish and chips," Alice added. "My dad proposed to my mum over a pack of fish an' chips."

"That's too British," Ben replied. "Where you gonna find a fish and chip shop, Allie?"

"I think pizza sounds good," Kendra put in. "Cheap, easy to get, and everyone likes it."

They began to finalise their plans, and set up for the big day. On Wednesday, Monica began cleaning, totally unaware of Ben, Alice and Kendra, who were lighting candles in the dining room, and trying to make it look "romantic".

At twelve-fifteen, the doorbell rang. "Pizza!" Ben cried, and ran to open it. He paid the delivery guy, and ran back with the pizza. 

"Ben?" Monica called. "Who was at the door?"

Ben left the dining room, and faltered. "Oh, uh, that-that was, a – a double glazing sales guy," he said, thanking his lucky stars for the inspiration. 

"Huh. Pity I didn't get it," Monica said. 

"Why?"

"We need new windows," she said, thoughtfully. "Did he leave a card?"

"Nah," Ben replied. "Auntie Mon, I gotta use the bathroom!" He ran off, but before he got to the bathroom, he veered off and entered the dining room.

"Ah!" Kendra touched a burnt out match. "That's hot."

"Plates, plates," Alice muttered. "Where the hell are the damn plates, Kendra?"

"Third cupboard to the left, behind the bowls," Kendra recited. "Those are the really fancy ones, anyway. The normal ones are in the kitchen."

"Go with the posh ones," Alice decided, taking out two plates. "Wine-glasses?"

"Got them," Ben told her. "Pass the plates." He set out two slices of pizza on each plate, and the three schemers dimmed the lights. 

"Perfect," Kendra announced. The doorbell rang. "Ah! He's here!" she cried. "Quick, let's let him in, and show him in here."

They raced to do so.

"Hey, Uncle Gunther," Ben greeted him.

"Ben – how is Rachel?" Gunther asked, curiously. 

"Fine," Ben said, trying not to laugh. "Auntie Monica said to wait in the dining room until she came, okay?"

"Yeah. Tell Rachel I love— Tell Rachel I said hi," Gunther corrected himself.

"Sure," Ben agreed, as Gunther went into the dining room, and gave a small exclamation of surprise.

"Mom, Gunther's here!" Kendra bellowed.

Monica rushed down the stairs. "Where is he?"

"Dining room," the three chorused.

Phoebe followed Monica. "You guys ready to go see a movie?"

Monica went into the dining room just as Phoebe, Alice, Kendra and Ben were putting on their coats. Suddenly, they heard a loud exclamation.

"What the _hell_ is going on here, Gunther?"


	7. Unexpected Consequences

Monica stormed into the hallway, followed by Gunther.

"Monica, please, I-I-I never…" Gunther trailed off as he saw Monica's stone-cold expression.

"You think you can just get up a fancy atmosphere and-and _seduce_ me?" Monica sputtered. Kendra had never seen her so angry. 

Phoebe's eyes went wide. "C'mon, kids, we'd best get the hell outta here," she whispered. 

Alice and Ben exchanged awkward looks. Kendra gave an anguished look at Monica and Gunther. They had not foreseen this outcome. 

"Should we tell?" Alice mouthed to Kendra.

"No," Kendra replied.

Phoebe hurried them out the door before they had a chance to say anything else. 

Monica and Gunther didn't notice.

Outside, Phoebe looked from Ben to Alice to Kendra. "Right, what's going on?" she demanded, as they began walking towards the cinema.

"What do you mean?" Alice said, innocently.

Phoebe glared at her. "I mean, I saw the looks you were giving each other in there," she said. "And I don't think that Gunther would ever seduce Monica. So what have you done?"

"Nothing," Ben replied. "I mean, how are you to know what Gunther might do, Auntie Phoebe?"

"A-ha!" Phoebe crowed. "You called me 'Auntie Phoebe', that means something's up."

"What?" Kendra queried.

"You don't think I've noticed?" Phoebe remarked. "You normally call me 'Phoebe' or 'Pheebs' or 'Aunt Phoebe' or 'Auntie Pheebs', but never 'Auntie Phoebe' unless something's wrong. Like when you broke Monica's vase, Kendy. Or when Ben tore that hole in his best pants."

"Ew," remarked Alice. "You have best _pants_?!"

"Yeah," Ben replied. "Mom spent like sixty bucks on them."

"On _undies_?" Alice exclaimed.

"Undies?" Phoebe laughed. "No, no, sweetie. Pants, like-like, uh, trousers."

"Oh, trousers…" Alice agreed. "Makes more sense."

"So, what have you done?" Phoebe insisted. "Did you set everything up?"

Kendra blushed. "Might've."

"Kendra Cecilia Geller!" Phoebe scolded. "Why?"

Ben spoke up. "'Cause, well, we felt sorry for Auntie Mon."

"Benjamin Thomas Geller!" Phoebe scolded. 

"Ph, uh, Phoebe," Alice was still shy about calling Phoebe by her first name. "Phoebe, 'snot like we did it to make Monica mad at Gunther or anythin'."

"That's as maybe," Phoebe replied. "But, still, guys, you've made Monica mad, and probably Gunther too."

"Gunther won't be mad," Ben pointed out.

"He won't be too happy after Monica has yelled," Phoebe said, staunchly. "I think you should apologise when we get back, kids."

The three groaned. "Do we _have_ to?" Alice moaned.

"I hate apologising," Kendra sighed.

"It's so embarrassing," Ben said.

"You're doing it," Phoebe told them. "And I don't care _what_ you say." She paused. "Now then, what movie do you wanna see?"

Back at the Geller-Buffay-Bing residence, Monica was still grilling her _sous_-chef.

"Mon-Monica, I did nothing," Gunther protested.

"Nothing apart from trying to seduce me – with _pizza_, of all things! God, Gunther, you're a chef! Can't you think of something more elegant?!" Monica demanded.

"Monica, will you please listen? It wasn't me," Gunther insisted, with more ferocity than he normally used.

"You—what?" Monica finally took in what Gunther was trying to tell her.

"I, I just went in there," Gunther stammered. "And I didn't do it. It was like that when I went in there."

"You're kidding…"

Gunther looked insulted. "No! I, uh, I thought it was _you_ did that."

Monica noticed the embarrassed, and slightly annoyed, look on her friend's face. "Oh! Oh, Gunther, I-I'm sorry."

He looked placated. "'S ok. Just, next time, get your facts straight, Monica, please."

"Next time?" Monica said, absently. In her mind, she was trying to think who could have set this up. "Ben!" she suddenly shouted, remembering his avoidance of her earlier.

"Beg pardon?" Gunther asked.

"I bet Ben did this," Monica said, annoyed. "And Kendra and Alice must've helped."

Gunther looked confused. "But _why_?"

Monica considered. "I have got _no_ idea, Gunther."

Gunther looked politely puzzled – he didn't really know the Ben and Kendra, except as children he saw every now and then. He felt sorry for Kendra, and always wished that Ben were his.

"Maybe, maybe they felt sorry for me, not having dated in so long – or they felt sorry for you," Monica mused. "Neither of us have terribly active social lives."

"That's true," Gunther replied, not bothering to feel offended.

Monica sighed. "Ugh. So, what, uh, where, what happens now?"

"We decide on menus," Gunther replied, haltingly. Although he still adored Rachel, it had been a thrill to him to think that perhaps Monica had been interested in him. He was starting to realise that Rachel, the married woman, the mother of three, was not going to be accessible to him. He also was realising that he was more in love with the idea of Rachel – the eighteen-year-old that had come into his coffeehouse years ago. He didn't want to be alone for the rest of his life.

Monica nodded. "Uh, ok." She had half-hoped that Gunther had set everything up. She was getting worried about spending her life alone – no one wanted a single mom. It would have been so nice to have someone _interested_ in her for once. 

They made their way into the room – still littered with candles. Monica touched a slice of pizza lightly. "Pizza's not cold yet," she remarked. "Might as well eat it."

"Yes," Gunther said, feeling suddenly shy, and a bit lost for words.

They each took a slice, and began to eat. "Nice," Gunther commented. 

"Yeah," Monica replied. 

Conversation was strained. They both felt unusually shy around one another, even though they'd known each other for years. They'd never encountered anything like this before.

When the pizza was finished, they cleared away in almost complete silence. Finally, Monica broke it.

"This is stupid," she said, annoyed.

"What is?"

"This," she said, waving her hand about impatiently. "Look, so the kids made us a romantic dinner. Forget about it! It's not as though they lured us into bed or anything. There's no need to feel embarrassed." She paused. "_Is_ there?"

"Mmm," Gunther made a slight sound in his throat. 

Monica noticed his hesitance, and knew that his expression was probably mirroring hers.

"M-maybe…" Gunther began, but was cut off by the phone ringing.

Saved by the bell, Monica thought, and somewhere inside she laughed at the corniness of it all. "I'll, ahem, I'll go get that," she spluttered, trying to catch her breath. For some reason, she was short of breath, and her heart was pounding inside her. 

"H'lo?" she answered the phone. "Geller-Buffay-Bing residence."

"That's a mouthful!" Chandler's voice came over the phone, cheerier than normal.

"C-chandler, hey," she replied.

She heard him gasp. "Oh, Mon, I'm sorry, it's your day with Gunther, isn't it?" he asked. "Oh, I'm really sorry!"

"No, nah, don't worry," she said, breathing deeply.

"Well, I'm just calling to tell you that I won't be here for dinner," he explained. "I've got a date – this cute girl, Lane Phelps, from work, she asked me out, I've liked her for a while, I thought it was time I moved on, so, anyway, uh, Lane and I are going out for dinner."

"Oh." Monica felt suddenly down. "Right. Ok."

"Mon?" Chandler sounded concerned. "Are you ok?" He paused. "You're not, not – you're ok with this, right?"

Monica gave a false sounding laugh. "Yeah, Chandler, don't worry! You and me, that-that was years ago."

"Oh, good, 'cause I wouldn't want to think I was hurting you," Chandler replied. 

"You're not," Monica said. "Do, uh, do you want me to pick Shawn up?"

"Oh, would you?" Chandler asked, gratefully.

"Sure – four isn't it?"

"Yup. 'Kay, gotta go," he added. "See ya, Mon."

Monica hung up, feeling alone. She had always thought that Chandler would stay single – or turn to her. 

"Monica?" Gunther asked, upon seeing her face. She looked so – so sad, he thought. "Are you ok?"

Chandler had said that. Monica fought the urge to break down in tears. "Mmm," she murmured. 

"Wh-what's the matter?"

Monica shook her head. "N-nothing. I'm fine, Gunther."

And then, before she knew what was happening, before he knew, before either of them knew what was happening, they were close – closer. Hands met, and joined. They could feel each other's breathing, hear their hearts beating. Lips met, arms intertwined. They were there, they'd never expected it to happen, but neither was stopping it. Chandler was forgotten, Rachel was forgotten, they thought only of each other. And when Gunther reached for the buttons of Monica's blouse, she didn't stop him. And he didn't stop her when she did the same to his shirt.

The plan had worked.

Lane: _to move on_


	8. Monica's Mistake

"Gunther!" Monica said, trying to get up. "Gunther, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

Gunther stormed out of the house, annoyed. "Sorry, Monica. I-I have to go."

Monica sighed. "No, no, you can't, I didn't mean—" She was answered by the slamming of a door. She had successfully wrecked the first time she had actually _felt something like an attraction to a guy in seven years._

She sat down and sobbed.

* * *

An hour later, Phoebe opened the door, and let herself in. "Mon? Gunther?"

Kendra followed her. "Hey, Mom!"

Alice and Ben followed more sedately. 

Monica emerged from the kitchen, trying not to look as though she'd spent the last hour sobbing. "Hi guys."

Phoebe looked at her shrewdly. "Monica Geller, you've been crying."

"No I haven't!" Monica said, annoyed. 

"We should go," Ben hissed, and Alice nodded. The three kids ran, rolled, and walked out of the hallway.

"Mon?" Phoebe asked, again. 

"I'm fine, ok?" Monica snipped. 

Phoebe sighed. "Look, Monica, I'm physic, and besides, I'm your best friend. I know when something's wrong."

"Not this time."

"Yes I do!" Phoebe insisted. "There's something wrong, and I'm not leaving until I find out what it is!"

"Ok…" Monica took a deep breath. "I slept with Gunther."

Phoebe gasped. "Oh my god! Does Rachel know? And Chandler?"

"No, Phoebe!" Monica sighed. "It _just happened, ok?"_

Phoebe paused for a moment, taking all of this in. "Just now? Today? Is he still here?"

Monica shook her head. "He – left."

"Why? And why did you do it – him, I mean?" she added, smirking.

"Phoebe!" Monica was annoyed. And her eyes were filling with tears again.

"Ok, ok, sorry," Phoebe apologised. She didn't _look sorry, Monica thought. "So, spill."_

"You sound like Rachel," Monica rebuked her. Phoebe gave her a long stare. A stare that said, 'You're not getting out of it that easily'. "Ok, fine. It just happened. Just, just one of those things, I guess."

Phoebe wasn't convinced. "Monica, I need more details than that. Who started it? How many times? Where did you do it? When did he leave? Are you going to—?"

"Whoa, Phoebe, too much!" Monica gave a weak laugh. "Ok, so I started it. But he didn't exactly stop me."

Phoebe didn't quite seem sure of how to handle this. This was a totally new side of Monica. "Are you going to – carry on?"

Monica paused. "No-o."

"Why not?" Phoebe exclaimed. 

"I – I don't wanna tell." 

"But I wanna listen," Phoebe countered. "C'mon, Monica, I'm your oldest friend – well, except for Rachel."

Monica shook her head stubbornly. "We just aren't." She smiled. "I guess Gunther doesn't want to, anyway."

"Why did you do it?" Phoebe asked. "And don't just say that it was 'one of those things'. That's crap. There's no such thing – well, except for your little one-night stand fourteen years ago."

"Ok. I was in a bad place," Monica conceded. 

"'Cause…?"

"No reason," Monica replied.

"Oh, ok," Phoebe said, sounding totally unconvinced. She paused, thinking. "So, where'd Chandler go?"

"Oh, he, uh, had a date," Monica answered, trying to sound cool, calm, and collected. Breezy. That's it – she wanted to sound "breezy". 

"Ooh," Phoebe said, interested. "Who with?"

"Whom," Monica corrected, automatically. Phoebe glared at her. "Sorry, too much Ross."

"So, with whom?" Phoebe mocked.

"A girl from his work," Monica breezed. "Lane something or other. Ridiculous name."

"Who's picking Shawn up?"

"Me, in like an hour."

Phoebe was about to leave when she thought of something. Two things. "Mon, I told the kids that they had to apologise to you – about the candles and all that crap."

"Ok," Monica agreed. "I was gonna go make them sorry anyway," she added, grinning.

"Yeah, no, and it's, uh, my date with Joey tonight. I'm gonna be out late. Maybe all night," she smirked.

"Really?" Monica smiled. "Ok, you go and preen for your date. I'll go and get an apology out of those three."

* * *

"She's coming!" hissed Kendra. The children were in Alice's room, preparing for when they would have to apologise to Monica.

"Damn," Ben moaned. "Do we have to do this?"

"She's gonna be really mad," Alice warned them both.

"You think I don't know that?!" Kendra demanded. "She's my mother!"

"Right, yeah, I forgot," Alice replied. 

"Kids?" Monica entered the room. She didn't look too happy – but she didn't look furious either. She looked sad – disappointed. It's the worst thing for a kid, when they have to apologise to a disappointed parent.

"We're sorry, Mom," Kendra said, hurriedly.

"Yeah, sorry, auntie Monica," Ben agreed.

"Really," Alice complimented them.

"Are you?" Monica said, absently. "Ok. I guess I never said it was against any rules or anything."

"Thanks Mom!" Kendra said, stretching up to try and hug her. "You'll hafta come down here, I think."

Monica laughed, and hugged her daughter, very conscious that just a little while ago, she had been mentally thanking the children for the "set up". 

"So you're not mad?" Alice checked. 

Monica laughed. "It gave me a chance to think." Then, on seeing their interested faces, she shook her head. "I'm not telling you what about. It gave me a chance to think, and I think it did for Gunther as well."

She smiled at the looks on their faces – they looked confused. She left, and the children were left to talk. 

Ben was the first to speak. "Well, that went ok."

"Yeah…" Kendra agreed.

Alice debated whether to speak or not. She decided to. "I think something – well, happened."

"Happened?" Ben repeated.

Kendra nodded. "Between Mom and Gunther? You saw it too, Alice?"

"Uh huh. I'm not sure _what exactly – she looked, well, a bit sad, but different," Alice commented._

"I thought she looked a bit confused," Kendra corrected her. "Not like when she was in love with Richard. I don't think anything good happened, Ally."

"Maybe she asked Gunther out and he said no?" Ben suggested.

"I can't believe we never thought of all the problems!" Alice wailed.

"Me either," Kendra sighed. "Ugh. We've probably made Mom feel worse than she ever did in her life right about now."

Alice shook her head. "Kendra, we did what we did, right? But we didn't _force Monica to ask Gunther out. Or to do whatever. She did that. We just set up a meal for them."_

"But still…" Kendra rolled out of the room. 

"Kendra!" Alice raced after her. "Kendra, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to say I'm sorry," Kendra replied. 

"We already did," Ben put in, coming to a stop just behind them. "Kendy, don't let on to Monica that you know. Just, just be normal. She's going to forgive you, you're her daughter."

"I guess." But Kendra wasn't convinced. 

"Drop it for now," Alice said, firmly.

"Ok."

"Hey!" Monica appeared in the doorway. "I almost forgot. Ally, your dad's on a date. I'm gonna pick Shawn up, anyone wanna come?"

"Date?" Alice whispered.

"Yeah," Monica said, matter-of-factly, and then realised. "Shit! Sorry, Ally, I didn't mean—"

"No." Alice ran off to her room, and slammed the door. 

"Alice!" Monica called. "Ally, you ok in there?"

"He's not on a date, you're lying!" Alice shouted. "You've got to be! He only loved Mum, he told me!"

"Alice…" Monica trailed off. "I'm sorry, Ally. I forgot—"

"Mom – go get Shawn," Kendra instructed her. "We'll talk to Ally."

"I don't see how that's gonna work," Monica mused. "I mean, you guys both have both your parents."

Ben shot her a look. "What?"

"Damnit," Monica sighed. "I'm off. Talk to Phoebe." She left, hurriedly.

"Ally?" Kendra called, quickly. Trying to make Ben forget what Monica had just said. _Both your parents. Why had she said that?_

"Kendra…" Ben began.

"Uh huh?" Kendra replied. "What?" She was freaked.

"I, uh, what did Monica mean about both – both parents?" He paused. "Unless you, do you know—"

Kendra looked around, trying to find some way to get out of it. "Oh, uh, just, y'know, the usual."

"The usual _what?" Ben persisted. "C'mon Kendra, we're friends! Tell me!"_

"Ally!" Kendra called, feebly. "Ally, mom's gone. She's sorry she said what she did, ok?"

"I'm not coming out 'til Dad gets back!" Alice replied. She sounded like she'd been crying.

"Kendra." Ben wouldn't budge.

"Ally, just let us in," Kendra asked. "C'mon, please?"

"No, I – I need to be alone," Alice said. "Look, guys, I just need some time by myself. I've got some thinking to do."

"Ok…" Kendra replied, reluctantly, as Phoebe appeared.

"What's going on, kids?" she asked.

"Uh…" Ben motioned for Phoebe to move away from Alice's door. "Auntie Mon told Alice that Chandler's got a date. She went all freaked on us."

"Ohh…" Phoebe sighed. "Oh, that poor girl." She made for the door. "Alice. Alice, I know what you're going through. My mom died when I was a kid."

Alice's door opened a crack. "Really?"

"Yeah, no, I was really sad, Ally. But you've gotta move on, ok?" Phoebe took a deep breath. "I moved to Prague."

"Prague?" Alice repeated.

"Then I went back to Manhattan," Phoebe added. "But, Alice, you've gotta let Chandler move on. It's been a while since it, y'know, happened, hasn't it?"

"Nearly two years," Alice agreed. "But, oh, it's so hard!"

"I know, I know," Phoebe said, hugging her. "But it's gotta happen some day. You can't expect your dad to stay single all his life, can you?"

"No-o…"

"Alice, maybe you're not comfortable with it just yet, but, oh, sweetie, when your dad gets back, he might not be either," Phoebe explained. "It's the first time he's been on a date since he met your mom. You can't expect him to suddenly fall in love."

"But, Ph—"

Phoebe silenced her. "Alice, if you like me, or Monica, or Rachel, does that make you disloyal to your mom?"

"No," Alice laughed. "That's stupid."

"So why is it different if Chandler likes other women?"

"'Cause—well, a'cause… I don't know."

Phoebe hugged her. "I'm sorry."

* * *

Meanwhile, Ben and Kendra were talking in Kendra's room.

"Ken, there's something happening, isn't there?" Ben asked. "Is it Joey? Is he your dad?"

"No!" Kendra laughed. "He is _so not."_

"Gunther? Chandler? _Uncle Richard?" _

"I can't tell… mom made me promise not to."

"It's me, it doesn't count," Ben wheedled. "I won't tell a soul."

"Not even Ross? 'Cause he knows him, and he'd go mad," Kendra checked. 

"Promise, Kendra." Ben sighed, impatiently. "Just _Tell me! Tell-tell-tell!"_

"Ok." Kendra took a deep breath. "It's Chandler."

Ben's eyes opened wide in shock. "Chandler _Bing?"_

Kendra gave a weak laugh. "Ok, so just how many Chandlers do you know?"

Ben shook his head. "Chandler – like, Alice's dad? Dad's college roomie? Mary's husband?"

"He wasn't married to Mary then," Kendra pointed out. "And he didn't even _know about Alice."_

"How long – how long have you known?" 

Kendra thought about it. "Uh… ever since Ross told Mom that 'Chandler' was coming to stay. She guessed, and Phoebe knew before, and then they told me."

"Were they – together?" Ben asked. "Chandler and Monica, I mean."

Kendra laughed. "No. Well, mom says it was just one night. So, I believe her."

"I guess. Besides, I don't really picture them together," Ben laughed. "Chandler Bing – Kendra Bing?"

"Kendra Cecilia Bing…" Kendra mused. "Hmm. Nah, I prefer Geller."

"Are you ever going to tell anyone?"

Kendra shook her head emphatically. "No! 'Cause Chandler was dating Mary at the time. I mean, my God, Alice would be furious with him – and mom."

"So, what, it's just a secret?"

"Bravo!" Kendra quipped. "Yeah. My secret dad." She paused, thinking. "Wow. I'll never be able to tell anyone about it, will I? He won't be able to give me away at my wedding, I'll never be able to call him 'Dad'…"

"Talk to him," Ben suggested. "He is your dad. And – Kendy, does he know about you?"

"Yeah, but… He never even knew about me until a few months ago. There's nothing about me that's even remotely like him!" Kendra shook her head. "What am I meant to say to him?"

Ben considered. "You know, you don't look _unlike him." He was right. The eyes – although were they Chandler's blue eyes, or Monica's? The hair – no, that was definitely Monica. The general face features had something of Chandler in them… "Your face. Alice and Shawn have his hair and everything, but you've got his nose and stuff."_

"What?" Kendra raced to a mirror, and stared at her face. "I don't!" she said, indignantly at first. "I look like Mom."

"Sure, Monica's hair, and maybe her eyes, but look at your _Face."_

"My face…" Kendra paused. "It's just me, Ben."

"It's you, alright," Ben agreed. "What's it like, having Chandler as a dad?"

"I'm not sure." Kendra sighed. "Can we change the subject?"

"Yeah, sure," Ben agreed, easily. "As long as we can get back to it later."

* * *

Late that night, long after collecting Shawn, Monica sat in the kitchen. Everyone was asleep – apart from Chandler, who hadn't arrived home yet. Even Phoebe was back, which wasn't surprising, as it was two in the morning. 

Monica just needed to be alone. When she was certain that it was quiet, and she wouldn't disturb anyone, not even Ally or Kendra, sleeping on the ground floor, she lay her head on the table and sobbed.

She lost track of all time, as she sat there crying. It could have been hours, or maybe even just a few minutes. 

"Mon?" a quiet voice asked. She looked up. Chandler. Great, of all people who could have seen her crying, it had to be Chandler. What, was fate just taking the piss?

"Monica, what's wrong?" he asked, gently.

She sat up, and dried her eyes. "N-nothing," she hiccuped. "I'm fine, just great."

"Like hell you are," Chandler retorted. "Tell me."

So, haltingly, she told him the story of Gunther and she. When she had finished, he looked at her.

"Oh, Mon," he said, hugging her. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but why – why did he leave?"

Monica stared at him for a full two minutes, debating whether to tell him. 

"There was a reason," she faltered. "It's – embarrassing."

"You don't have to tell me," he assured her.

"I really should," she replied. "I did something – I think I really hurt him…"

"Did you _kill him?" Chandler asked._

She gave a hiccup-y laugh. "No." She took a deep breath. "Right in the middle – I called him Chandler."


	9. Dying A Thousand Deaths

A/N: before I begin, I feel compelled to thank you all for the reviews. And starheart, I don't have CP myself, but I know a few people who have it. 

"What?" Chandler gasped.

"I'm sorry." Monica's cheeks were fiery red, and she was avoiding his eyes. "You hate me, right?"

"No, no…" Chandler trailed off. "I just didn't think you'd say that."

"Neither did Gunther," Monica quipped.

Chandler didn't laugh – or even smile. "Not the time to make a joke," he noted. 

"Yeah, sorry," Monica replied. "I guess…"

"Well, I shouldn't be telling you off for it," Chandler said, sighing. "It's _my habit too. Remember?"_

Monica sighed, as her mind went back to that long-ago encounter. "Yeah, you-you said."

"Fourteen years ago." Chandler's voice was dreamy, and he wasn't looking _at Monica. Not the Monica who was sitting in the kitchen, anyhow. He was looking at the Monica, the Monica in his mind, the one who had been there fourteen years ago – the embarrassed expression, the short hair, the look of a girl, barely out of her teens, who'd found herself in a motel room with an unknown man… Shocked, but pretty._

"Chandler?" Monica's voice jerked him out of his reverie.

"Yeah, sorry." He was pulled fourteen years into the future, and was staring at the same girl. With the same expression on her face. But now, she wasn't just a random girl. She was Monica – Ross' sister, Kendra's mother – his daughter's mother. His eldest daughter. She was the woman he lived with. Monica, one of his friends. 

"I… I shouldn't have told you," Monica said, hastily gathering up her belongings. "I'm sorry, I should – go."

"No, Mon, Moni—" He broke off. "Monica, it's ok. I don't care. We can put it behind us."

"I guess." She sat back down. "So, how was the date with – what's-her-name?"

"Lane," he replied. "Total bust. She might be pretty, but she's pretty dumb as well."

"Oh," Monica said. There wasn't much more to say. "Well, I had _fun with Gunther. We didn't decide on menus, though. And I think I'll be resigning soon. I'll become a housewife."_

"Housewife?" Chandler was merely shocked that Monica would decide to do this, but Monica took it a different way.

"Ok, house-bachelorette," Monica amended her statement. "I mean, there's loads to do, right? There's Kendra, and I love her, but the diplegia is quite hard going, Ben might as well live here, Phoebe needs a bunch of help, and there's you three now, as well… I love having you here, but it means lots of food, and it'd be great to give up work if it weren't for the money…"

"Money?"

"Yeah, I can't feed everyone on thin air, can I?"

"No, I guess not," Chandler said, thoughtfully. "Mon, I forgot, I meant to give you rent for the month."

"Rent!" Monica repeated, scornfully. "I'm not gonna take money from a friend. Chandler, how mean do you think I am?"

"Monica, how mean do you think _I am?" Chandler mimicked her way of speech. "I'm not gonna let you just use up all your money on me, and the kids."_

"No, I can't take money—" Monica began. She stopped. The money would be useful. She needed it. She couldn't afford to pay for everyone – not on her wages. And even though Phoebe helped, her money was few and far between. 

"Please, Mon," Chandler said. 

She sighed. It was inevitable. She was going to do it. "Ok." She realised that that didn't sound very grateful. "Thanks, Chandler. You don't know how much it means to me."

"Maybe not," he replied. "But I can imagine. When Mary first – passed – well, Alice and Shawn and I, we didn't have much money, Mary had had a good, regular job. I was between jobs when she died – I'd been laid off when she got pregnant, I'd spent so much time at scans – sonograms, I mean. And, well, we were practically broke. Alice needed new books and stuff all the time, and Shawn was at the stage where they grow so fast."

Monica made a comforting noise, and laid her hand on his arm. "I – I didn't know."

"Well, it's not something I go around broadcasting," Chandler said, softly. "Anyhow, Mary's sister, Dina, came to live with us, it was easiest, because it meant I didn't have to be there all the time for Ally and Shawn – I could go and try to find work. But then Dina got married. She moved in with her husband, Bobby. Even though Dina and Bobby were so happy, it was hard for us. I mean, it really helped when I told Joey and Nonna what t—"

"Who is Nonna?" Monica interrupted.

"Joey's grandma," Chandler replied. "She's great. Kinda stroppy, but she's great. She gave us some money to help out, and she advised us to come back to America, get in touch with old friends, my parents, anyone who might be able to help. And I have never been so thrilled in all my life as when Nonna gave us the money. Then she persuaded Joey to come with us to America, and well, here we are."

"I'm glad you're here," Monica said, softly.

"Thanks, Mon."

They sat in silence for a while, until Monica broke it. "Do you miss your wife?" she asked, abruptly. "Would you rather that she was still here, and you lived in England with her?"

Chandler considered. "Mon, I…" He paused. "I miss her; it hurts like hell, Monica. It's like someone's got a knife in my heart, and every so often, they turn it. It hurts when I see a woman who looks like Mary, or when I hear Shawn mumbling 'Mummy' in his sleep. Or if I see Ross looking so happy with Rachel, and I think, 'Shit, why did He take _my_ wife away from me, why did He leave Ross his?' Monica, I – I just, I _pray that you won't have to feel this pain, ever. It's like nothing else in the world. I'd have died cheerfully if it weren't for my children – Mary's children. And every time I see Ally, it hurts so badly, because she looks like her mother, and, oh, Monica, it hurts when I see __you. When I see you and Kendra, I can't help thinking of that night when I cheated on Mary. I never told her, you know. And I hate myself for it."_

He clenched his hand into a fist, and unfurled it, using the hand to wipe away his tears. "I – I keep on thinking of times when I did wrong by Mary. When we fought, when – when we didn't speak. And the times when she'd done nothing wrong, when I was just being plain damn irrational. When I ignored her, when she needed me most. When she told me she was pregnant the – the last time, when I couldn't believe it. I didn't speak to her for weeks. Oh, oh, I hate myself for it. You've never known grief like that, Monica. I pray you never will. I pray no one ever will again, but I can't stop it happening – I know Ally feels it, and Joey, and Shawn, but it's nothing like the pain that I feel."

The tears came thick and fast now, he could barely see through them. Monica was aghast that she'd created this storm, but could think of nothing to comfort him. It was true. She had never known such grief. 

Chandler continued. "The happy times, though. When we laughed, and when –" Here, he was caught in such a tempest of tears that he couldn't speak. His breath caught in sobs, and the tears ran down his face, flowing onto the table. Monica reached over, and grabbed a box of Kleenex. She handed him one, but he pushed it away.

"No…" he sobbed. "I – I haven't told anyone this, not ever. I need to talk, please…" He gulped air. "Please, Monica. Listen. I need you."

Wordlessly, Monica nodded. She felt over-awed by this grief. The sadness she had felt at the death of her beloved 'Nana', that was nothing – nothing compared to Chandler's anguished longing for the wife who had been snatched from him.

"It was before Ally was born. We, we mixed juice, 'twas blackcurrant juice, and lemonade," Chandler murmured. "Pink lemonade. I don't know if you have it here. We made it a couple of years before all the shops started doing it. We used to laugh when all the shops sold it, said we'd invented it, they'd stole it off us…" He gave a weak laugh. His voice had a slight Midlands drawl now, similar to Alice's. Monica wondered if he was aware of it. "We played dominoes. I'd never played before, she taught me. I always used to lose. She never stopped encouraging me, though." He sighed. "Not like me. Mon, I took her for granted. I just, I guess, I thought she'd always be there. I'd have time to make it up to her." 

_She knows, Monica wanted to say. But what if she didn't? Monica's Jewish upbringing had taught her that there was an afterlife, and she'd better not question it. But she wasn't a strict Jew. She often doubted the existence of God. And so, what if Mary was just __gone? Dead. Buried. The end?_

"She loved reading…" Chandler sounded distant, far away. He was deep in his past, in the small house that he had shared with Mary. "We had lots of books. They weren't mine, really. Mary just, she used to sit on this chair, in the front room, she used to read for hours. She read to Ally, and to Shawn, and to – to me, even. And to Leo."

Monica wondered who Leo was. A brother?

"Oh, I loved poor Leo," Chandler said, the sobs easing. "He was our cat, a marmalade cat, Mary used to say. He loved Ally – he had to be put down when she was five. We cried, oh, we cried. Ally understood death, even at that age. I remember, when she was two, Dina was saying something about this old school-friend of hers, and Joey told her to call her. And Dina, she looks at us, and she says, deadpan, 'She's dead'. I heard Ally laughing, and no one else understood that Ally had known what death was. She'd known."

At that age, Monica thought, sadly. Ally had surely had her fair share of sadness. Why couldn't she have remained innocent?

"I – I just miss Mary," Chandler said, simply. "There's nothing more to it. I miss my wife. And sometimes I'll not think about her for a few days, and I'll think, 'how could I have forgotten my wife?'. I feel like I have to think about her all the time to keep her alive. And sometimes it's hard, Mon. I mean, it's hard to think about her, but it's even harder not to."

Monica opened her mouth, but Chandler stopped her.

"I know, it wasn't wrong for me to forget about her for a few moments while we were married," he said. "But, it just seems, now she's gone, Shawn will probably forget about her – or the memories will dim, anyhow. And Ally, she's just a kid herself. I need to be strong for her. But it hurts so much to see Ally hurt – she's my daughter, Monica. I wanna – I wanna keep all the pain away from her, y'know?"

"Yeah…" Monica said, softly. "I know what you mean. When Kendra was sick, I – I would have done anything to switch places with her. And even now – oh, if I could do anything to stop my little girl from being frustrated about her paralysis, oh, you – I'd do it straightaway. She's my life, that girl." She took a deep breath. "I'm not blaming you, Chandler, I mean, we agreed it was one night, but it's not been easy, just taking care of her by myself."

"I – I _am sorry," Chandler replied._

"No, no," Monica disagreed. "I don't want you to be sorry. I've had Ross, and I've had Phoebe – and Rachel, and Gunther, to an extent. And even Richard, my – well, we were engaged. But he didn't want any more children… and I did. So we split up." She sighed. "By then, I guess I'd gotten used to being alone. I mean, when I first found out I was pregnant, I was terrified, Chandler. I was twenty-one, I didn't even have a stable job, I was living in a two-bedroom apartment with Phoebe… it was hard. I – I didn't want the baby at first. I was going to get an abortion, Chandler. I was at the clinic, I had the money in my hand, and then – well, I don't know. Suddenly I was at home, and I was telling Ross and Rachel and Phoebe the news."

"How did they take it?"

Monica considered. "Phoebe, she-she was great. She was my lifeline. Rachel was shocked. She was only nineteen, see – she skipped a grade, and we were in high school together, that's how we were friends. I guess she was shocked that someone about her age was pregnant. Ok, but Ross, he was pretty mad. He couldn't believe I'd been irresponsible enough to have a one-night stand and not use protection. But I – well, when I got the sonogram picture, everyone fell in love with Kendra. And when I went into labour when I was seven months pregnant, everyone was terrified for the baby. And then… well, Kendra was born. She was in hospital for about eight weeks, and then she came home – we'd moved here by then, me and Pheebs. But then she got sick. She was in and out of hospital until she was about two, there were complications. And she got CP."

"What happened then?"

"Well, we moved her bedroom into what used to be the sitting room. Then we found she could move a little bit in water, so we got the pool. And… it's been hard, sometimes… well, I know she feels like giving up every so often. We've just got to try and be there for her. We can't live her life for her. And, even though I really want to, I can't protect her from the world. I know that there's gonna be people out there who'll point at her chair, and who won't get to know the real Kendra, the girl behind the CP. But I want to – well, to prepare her for that. She knows that not everyone can see the real girl, but…" Monica trailed off, sighing. "I don't know."

Chandler nodded. "I understand." He took her in his arms and hugged her. "Oh, _you_ understand."

Monica smiled. "Yeah. I mean, I've never lost a lover, but, I've died a thousand deaths watching my baby suffer."

"It's hard, isn't it?" Chandler sympathised. He moved over to Monica, and hugged her. His eyes were dry now, and Monica had not shed a tear.

"Mmm," Monica murmured. "It was – _is – hard. But it helps to have friends who understand – friends to talk to."_

Chandler nodded. "Ok. So, whenever we need to talk, then, Mon, we come to each other?"

"Uh huh."

"Us against the world," Chandler announced. "And I guess I'd better head to bed now. It's nearly five."

"Ugh… really? Me too, then." Monica smiled, kissed his cheek, and turned off the lights.

"Sleep well, sweetie," Monica called out, softly, as they left the kitchen.

"You too… honey."


	10. Past, Present, and Future

It was four days later, a Saturday, when Monica handed in her notice. She had to. The relationship between Gunther and herself had been strained ever since – well, just ever since. But it still wasn't easy. Monica loved her job. It was what she had wanted to do for all of her life, and she'd just thrown it all away.

When she arrived home, no one was there. Joey and Phoebe had taken all six kids out. Good. She could sit and muse on her failed career. Hmm. What was she going to do now?

She wrote a list. "Get another chef job". Well, that might be possible. There had to be more restaurants or cafes wanting chefs. She wasn't even asking to be head chef – just a regular chef. As long as it was a regular job, and it paid well, she'd do it. Ok, it might be hard to adjust to taking orders from other people, especially if they were younger than she was, or if they made crappy food, just like Rachel had done when they first met. She had absolutely _hated Rachel's food – she laughed suddenly, remembering something._

Thirteen years ago, Monica, a six-month-old, physically able Kendra, and Phoebe had just moved into their new house. The baby had been fussy all day, the onset of the meningitis, Monica now realised. Rachel had come over and offered to bring a homemade meal for the three of them. Monica had believed that Ross had made the food, which was why she had agreed to Rachel's scheme.

"Hey Rach," Phoebe greeted her, eyeing the foil-covered dishes in Rachel's hands. "Yummy, what's that I see?"

Rachel smiled smugly. "Hmm… Well, in this dish, I have a rather lovely lamb casserole – that's for you, Mon, and for Ross and me. And here, I have vegetarian samosas, for Pheebs. And for baby, I have – baby goo. And she can have some of the casserole."

Monica looked in each dish. "Wow. Impressive, Rach." She took the dishes off her, and put them on the table. "Ross really has been working overtime, hey?"

"Ross?" Rachel repeated, hurt. "I made these all on my own-some."

Monica and Phoebe looked up. "_You_ made them?"

Luckily, Rachel didn't notice the shock and fear in their voices. "Yeah. I'm really proud."

"Uh-heh," Phoebe murmured, uncomfortably. 

Two hours later, they sat down to eat. Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, Monica, and baby Kendra. Kendra was crying and fussing, and was being passed from Mama to Uncle Ross to Auntie Rachel to Auntie Phoebe without much success. When she was given some casserole, she began screaming. 

"Kendra," Monica soothed her. "'S okay, baby. Don't worry, sweetheart."

Kendra had refused to be placated, and when Monica had gone to change her diaper twenty minutes later, there had been a bright red rash on her stomach. Meningitis had not been a very well publicised illness then, and Monica had no idea what it was. 

As Monica tried to soothe her, the baby suddenly went limp and had what could only be described as a fit in her mother's arms. Monica, terrified, screamed for help.

"Ross! Phoebe! Rachel! Someone!" she shrieked. "I need help! Help me! Call 911, someone, do something!" 

In a matter of an hour, Kendra was hooked up to a life-support machine, and was dangling between this life and the next. She was diagnosed with meningococal meningitis, and Monica was warned that even if the baby survived, there were large chances that she could be brain-damaged, blind, deaf, or paralysed. 

Monica wasn't allowed to see her daughter for three hours, as doctors were battling to save the baby's life. She, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel were all given injections of ceftriaxone to prevent them getting the disease. 

It was almost a week before Kendra was given the all clear – that time. She had many trips back to the hospital, firstly with a heart problem, then breathing problems, and then when it was discovered that she had CP. Thankfully, her last major problem had been six years ago – a minor recurrence of meningitis. Now she was stronger than ever before. 

Despite this, Monica would have given anything to have someone with her when Kendra was sick. Not just her friend, brother, and sister-in-law, but a husband, boyfriend, Kendra's father. And even if Kendra got sick now, Chandler would be a friend, and not Kendra's father. 

Monica sighed. Why had she ever had a one-night stand in the first place?

Ugh. Next option.

"Waitressing". She sighed. It would be a _huge step backwards for her. She had been a waitress when she was pregnant. At a small coffeehouse named Central Perk, near to her old apartment. It was where she had met Gunther, where she had been spring-boarded up to being a chef. Gunther had done loads for her. He hadn't discriminated against her just 'cause she was a single mom with a physically disabled child. Great. And now she was thinking about Gunther again. But it was hard not to. In the past, before she had been able to confide in Phoebe so much, Gunther had been her confidante. She had known him for years. It was sad to think of the friendship going down the drain._

Next.

"Train as something else."

Oh. Specific. Well, what could she train as? Nurse? She had a lot of experience of coping with illness, certainly. She'd handled every problem that Kendra had had, and had been through it all with Ben, Emily, and Julia, as well. Rachel and Ross panicked easily about illness, and Mon was their only hope. When Julia had been two weeks old, Ben and Emily had gotten chicken pox. Monica smiled at the memory. Rachel had been hysterical. She had been terrified that the new baby would get sick. Monica had done a "switch" with her – Rachel had taken Julia and moved in with Kendra (because, with her cp, she could have gotten seriously ill if she had contracted chicken pox) and Phoebe, who had never had it, and Monica had helped Ross with the scratchy siblings. 

Ok, so nursing was an option. But, would she be able to handle it if she had to care for dying people? If someone actually died while she was taking care of him or her, what would she do? Especially if the person was a child, or a baby?

She could teach, perhaps. When Kendra had been little, she had not wanted to send her to a special school, so she had home-schooled her until she was nine. And Kendra was clever now. Advanced, that's what they called it. And that was as a result of having good teaching as a small child. But teaching was hard graft. And parents seemed so eager to get teachers to pay for anything that went wrong. No. Teaching wasn't for Monica.

What other skills did she have? She could be a child-minder – one of those babysitters that have children all day. That was an idea. She had to look after Shawn, Kendra, and Alice every day before and after school anyhow. And, on Wednesdays and Fridays, she took care of Ben, Emily, and Julia as well. But how did one start a task such as that?

As she was musing over this, the kitchen door burst open, and Alice, Ben, Emily, Julia, Shawn, and Kendra clattered in, followed by Phoebe and Joey.

"Quiet, aren't you?" Monica muttered, hiding her list away. "Hi!" she said, louder.

"Hey, Mom," Kendra shrieked. The rest seemed similarly hyped up.

"Where did you go?" asked Monica, as Julia came and hugged her aunt hard. "Did you get these kids _drunk, Phoebe?"_

"We ain't drunk, Monica," Alice laughed. 

"You sure as hell aren't sober, Ally," Monica replied.

"We are," Joey protested. "We just went to a theme park and McDonalds and Central Park, and then we thought they looked a bit tired, so we took them for black coffee at Starbucks, and then we took them swimming."

"And you say _just," Rachel quipped, coming into the kitchen. "Julie-pie, Emma, Benny, we've got to go, babies."_

"Aw, Mom!" Emily whined.

"Aw, Em!" Rachel mimicked her. "Sorry, babies. Grammy Sandra's coming round."

"Aw," Ben moaned. "Can't I stay here? Grammy doesn't like me! And I don't like her," he added as an afterthought.

"Benjamin." Rachel's voice held a warning tone. 

"Ok, ok," Ben sighed. 

"Joe? You coming?" asked Rachel.

"Nah. I'm gonna stay with Pheebs." Joey smirked, and put an arm around his girlfriend. Joey and Phoebe had been on several dates, and were officially an 'item' now.

"Ok. See you, guys," Rachel said, smiling. She left with her children.

"Guys, guys!" Chandler came rushing into the kitchen, looking agitated.

"Hey, sweetie," Monica greeted him, sarcastically. 

"Hi, Mon," he replied, not noticing her sarcasm. "You have _got to help me."_

"Whassa matter, Daddy?" asked Shawn. He was finally getting over his extreme shyness, and was even speaking around other people now.

"Yeah, Dad," added Alice.

"Don't worry, you two. Why don't you and Kendra go play in the garden or something?"

"It's bucketing," Alice replied, giving him a withering look. She was right – it was raining hard.

"Oh." Chandler looked around for inspiration. "Well, ah, go play in the sitting room or something."

"Ok," Kendra agreed.

"What's up, man?" Joey asked, as the kids left.

"I just saw my mother," Chandler answered, simply.

Monica, Phoebe, and Joey heard this statement in bewildered silence. Monica, characteristically, was the first to speak. "Your _mother? How? When?"_

Chandler took a deep breath. "She was doing a book signing. I passed by on my way home from work. She noticed me. We, ah, we got to talking."

He sighed as he remembered his mother's excitement.

"Chandler?" she had gasped, incredulously. "Chandler?"

He had known her instantly, of course. Nora Tyler is not inconspicuous. "Mom," he'd said, flatly. "How are ya?"

"Chandler," she'd whispered, again. "My God, why didn't you tell me you were in New York? I thought you were still in England, baby! How's the wife, the kids? How many did you have, three, was it?"

"Two."

"Oh, where are you staying?" she continued. "Are you living here, now, baby? The wife too?"

"No… I'm, ah, living with my best friend's sister."

Nora had given her son a strange look. "Oh – adultery? How… unlike you."

"No, not adultery!" Chandler said, a little bit annoyed. "I, uh, Mary Angela – my wife – died, about a year ago. I moved in with Mon because it was the easiest thing to do. I wanted to make a clean break, get Ally and Shawn away from England."

"Ally and Shawn?"

"My kids. Alice is thirteen, turns fourteen in a couple days, and Shawn's six. Cute pair, really."

There was an awkward silence.

"So, when do I get to meet these cuties?" Nora demanded, after a moment.

"Oh! Ah, uh, I don't know," Chandler stalled. He loved the kids, and didn't really want them polluted by their romance-novel-writing, mini-skirt-wearing granny.

"Well, I'm free tonight, Chandler. You?"

"Uh… I guess. I'd have to check with Monica, though," he replied. Why couldn't he think of anything that he was doing? Why why why?

"Well, here's my cell," she said, scrawling a number on a piece of paper. "Ask your friend and then ring me."

"Yeah. Ok," he agreed. "I guess my children should know their nana." My _three children, he added mentally. No. No. Forget that._

"Great. I'll be waiting," Nora said, smiling and waving her phone, playfully.

"Sure thing." He was about to leave, but thought of something. "Ah… Mom? Can you, ah, wear something—?"

"A little more suitable?" Nora finished. "It's like you're a kid again at graduation!"

"Hey, that was _not funny," he insisted. "You ended up being the bleachers, making out with Andy Dawes, Mom! He was __sixteen."_

Nora laughed. "Boy, that kid was fun." On Chandler's glare, she subsided. "Right. I'll wear jeans and a T. That ok with you?"

"Perfect," he replied. "I'll call you, then."

They parted ways.

"Oh, Chandler!" Phoebe cried, upon hearing this. "What are you gonna do?"

"Well, I'm gonna call her… I guess. What else can I do?"

"You want us to be here, man?" Joey asked.

Chandler shook his head. "Don't feel you gotta stay in for me or anything. If you have plans, then go out. If not, well, then _please God, stay."_

"I'm free," Monica spoke up.

"Sorry," Phoebe said. "I'm going to Frank's to see the triplets."

"Triplets?" Joey repeated.

"Yeah, the babies I had for my brother," Phoebe replied, matter-of-factly.

"Oh," Joey said, nodding.

Chandler looked at Monica, and mouthed 'What the hell…?' She smiled, and mouthed 'Surrogacy' back. He nodded.

"Joe?" Monica asked. "You doing anything?"

"Sorry man," Joey replied. "I, ah, my play's on tonight. _Boxing Day, you know?"_

"Oh, right," Chandler said. "Yeah, good luck with that."

"I'm on at six," Joey continued.

"Joe?" Chandler said. "It's five now."

"You're kidding?" Joey asked, checking his watch. "Damnit! I gotta go, see ya!"

As he ran out, Phoebe got up. "I guess I'll head off to Frank and Alice's. God, it's been a couple of months since I saw those babies. They're so sweet – Frank and Lesley and little Rosie-Lee. You see, Chandler, they were gonna call her Ross Leo, like _our Ross, but then, well, she turned out to be a girl, so she got called Rosie-Lee."_

"Great," Chandler replied, deadpan. "See ya Pheebs," he added, as Phoebe left.

"Seems like it's you and me, then, Bing," Monica quipped. 

"Yep, sure does, Geller," he countered. "I'm gonna ring my mom."

"Here, use this phone," Monica advised, handing him a cordless phone.

He dialled. "Hey Mom … yeah, we're free … Couple hours? … Yeah, sure … those clothes sound great, Mom … Thanks … Ok, see ya … Yep. Bye!" He hung up.

"Wow, you're not that wordy with her, are ya?" Monica joked.

"Nope."

"And the non-wordiness continues," she laughed.

"Sure does." He paused. "I'd better go tell the kids." He left, but returned less than a minute later. "They've got our daughter sitting on the floor, and they're trying to get her to move her legs," he informed her.

She smiled – he'd said '_our daughter'. "Oh, Kendra gets in one of her 'phases' every now and then. She'll be confident that she can move her legs if she tries."_

"Does it ever work?" he asked, curious. After all, Kendra was _his daughter._

"Not really," she replied, sighing. Then, feeling that the subject might get too maudlin, changed topics. "So, you are looking forward to seeing your mom?"

"I guess." He hesitated, looking very vulnerable all of a sudden. "I mean, that's why I came here, isn't it? To find her. But then, well, I had a lousy childhood, Mon, and I've never been close to her…" He trailed off.

She hugged him. "I know, sweetie. I know. I've never been close to my mom either. But it's something you learn to deal with."

He smiled, and returned the hug. "Thanks, Monica."

"For what?"

"For being there," he replied, and, on impulse, kissed her. On the lips, but not so much of a sexual thing. More of a 'friendly' thing – but with a hint of tenderness that isn't always there with friends.

"What was _that for?" _

"For being you," he answered.

She smiled impishly. "Well, in _that case…" And she kissed him – but this time, it __wasn't a friendly thing. When she broke away, she explained herself. "And that's for being __you."_

"I think I like being me," he said, grinning. 

"Well, if you're you for a little while longer, you might get some more," she smirked. 

"Ok… but you'll have to answer to Ally. She wasn't mighty pleased about Lane, and I doubt she'd be thrilled if it were you, Mon." He knew he was moving too fast. He was insinuating a full-fledged relationship here.

"I'll answer to her," Monica replied, understanding his insinuation. "I mean, if I can't handle Ally, I can't handle anyone, can I?"

Chandler's heart beat in happiness. But, instead of saying anything else, he simply replied, "Have I been me for long enough yet?"

She looked at him, tantalisingly. "Hmm… I guess."

"So do I get some more?"

"Oh, you get _way more."_


	11. Nora and Alice

Two hours later, Monica and Chandler were sitting calmly in the living room, listening to the radio and watching Kendra (not in her wheelchair, but sitting on the floor), Alice, and Shawn playing a game of Monopoly, which Alice had brought from England. 

"When's grandma coming?" Alice asked, presently.

"Pretty soon," Chandler replied, checking his watch.

"Kendy, are you sure you don't want to be back in your chair?" Monica queried of her daughter.

"No, I'm fine, Mom." Kendra grinned at the adults. "'Sides, I don't want to meet Mrs Bing in a wheelchair."

"Why ever not?" Chandler asked.

"'Cause… well, no reason. I just don't." Kendra smiled, but groaned as she landed on Mayfair. "Damnit! Whose hotel is that?"

"Mine," Shawn piped up. "Five hunn'ud pounds, please." He held out his hand, happily.

"I can't believe a little kid like Shawn knows how to play that game," Monica remarked to Chandler.

"Oh, Mary loved it," he said. "And, well, when Dina and Bob were looking after the kids, they often played it, cause there was nothing else for them to do."

"Oh. Y'know, I find that game hard," Mon replied. 

"Well, it's not an easy game," Chandler said, amiably. 

There was silence for a few moments until the doorbell rang. Shawn looked up rapidly, his shyness returning. "I need the loo," he said, shyly, and raced off.

"That's the last we'll see of _him_ for a while," Alice declared.

"Ally," Chandler warned. "Go answer the door, eh, hon?"

She grimaced at him, but obeyed. 

"So…" Kendra began. "This lady is my grandmother, right?"

"Shh!" hissed Chandler. 

"Yes," replied Monica. "Just don't be too – granddaughter-ish, Kendy, ok?"

"Is it likely?" Kendra said, indignantly. 

"Sorry," Monica apologised. "Just don't, babe." She silenced herself as Alice entered the room, followed by Nora.

"Chandler, baby, hi!" Nora greeted her son. "Introduce me."

Chandler looked around. "Okay. Uh, this is Monica Geller, my, ah, housemate." He paused. "Ah, Alice Bing, my daughter." 

"My granddaughter," Nora commented. "Hi."

"Hey," Alice replied. 

"She sounds so British!" Nora squealed. "Oh, how adorable!"

"Yep. Ah, my son, Shawn, is in the bathroom—"

"I'm not," Shawn said, shyly. "H'lo."

"Shawn, what a cutie you are!" Nora cooed. Shawn blushed, and hid behind Monica.

"He's shy," Chandler said, unnecessarily. "And this," he added, pointing to Kendra, "Is Kendra Geller. Monica's daughter." There, no lie, he thought triumphantly.

"Hi," Kendra said, smiling. 

Nora stared at Kendra. _Please don't figure it out,_ Chandler begged, silently.

"You know, Kendra, you remind me an awful lot of someone," she mused. She turned to Monica. "Ms Geller, have I ever met you before?"

Monica looked politely puzzled, whilst knowing what Nora had worked out. "Ah, I don't know. Maybe."

"Well, your daughter looks very familiar." Nora left it at that, but it left Kendra and her parents feeling rather nervous. The visit passed with no other real 'incidents', though.

"I like her," announced Alice, once Nora had left. "I think I've heard of her before, though, Dad."

"She's your grandmother, of course you have," Chandler replied.

"No… I mean… what's her name, Dad?" Alice was racking her brains.

"Nora."

"Nora… Nora Bing… Oh my God!" Alice burst out, laughing. "Nora Tyler Bing? She is, isn't she?"

Kendra joined in the laughing. "Nora Tyler Bing? You're kidding?"

Chandler glared at the two girls… his two daughters. "Yes, she's Nora Tyler Bing. Yes, she writes romance novels. Yes, she's your grandmother."

"M – Alice's grandma is Nora Tyler Bing?" Kendra asked, incredulously, congratulating herself on saving herself from saying 'my grandmother'.

"Who's Nora Tyler Bing?" asked Shawn, confused.

"Nora Tyler Bing," began Monica, shooting Chandler a playful glance, "Writes very naughty books."

"_Thank_ you, Monica," said Chandler, glaring at her.

Alice broke the silence. "Y'know, it's my birthday in three weeks' time."

"Is it?" Monica asked, grabbing a calendar. "The sixth?"

"That's my birthday!" Kendra said, smiling innocently at her mother. "Isn't _that_ a weird coincidence, Mom? Chandler, what do _you_ think?" She had a butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth look, and her tone of voice was too much for Monica, who choked audibly. Chandler contented himself with a glare at the Monopoly board.

"What did Euston Station do to you?" asked Shawn, innocently.

"What?" Chandler queried, absently.

"Why you glarin' at Euston Station?" repeated Shawn.

Monica, not used to such wit from a young child, left the room suddenly, and Kendra heard strange gurgling sounds coming from the doorway.

"It _is_ a weird coincidence, isn't it?" Alice said, referring to the birthdays. 

"Yes," Monica replied, re-entering the room at this point. 

"Mind you, they say if you know 21 people, then you're fair sure to know at least one other person with the same birthday as you," Alice continued. 

"Really, Ally?" asked Kendra. "That's bizarre."

"_I_'d 'a' thought it'ud be three hunn'ud an' sixty-five people," Shawn commented.

"Yeah, but it's not," Alice told her brother.

"You sure? Who told you?" asked Shawn.

"My maths teacher, Miss Comyns," Alice replied. [Author's note: tee-hee!]

"What should we do for our birthday?" asked Kendra. "I mean, it's like being sisters, isn't it?" She shot a cheeky grin at Chandler, who glared back.

"I think it's your bedtime," he told her.

"I think it isn't," she countered.

"I think it's Shawn's bedtime, anyway," Chandler added, looking at his watch. "Bedtime, Shawny."

"No thank you," his son said, smiling. "I'll stay for a little longer."

"No you won't," Chandler disagreed, picking his small son up, and carrying him, yelling playfully, out of the room.

"I s'pose you want me to go?" Kendra asked her mother. Monica insisted on early hours for her daughter, and, though it was just gone nine, Kendra knew that she should be going to bed now.

"Very good," Monica praised her daughter. "Yup." She and Alice helped Kendra back into the chair, and Kendra, sighing, wheeled herself out. 

"S'pose I'll be goin' now, too," Alice commented, after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah," Monica agreed. Just as Alice got up, she spoke. "Ally? Can I talk to you for a second?"

Alice turned around. "Uh huh. What 'bout?"

"Ah…" Monica paused, and took a deep breath. "I just… Ally, you know I'm always here for you, right?"

"Yeah." Ally looked confused. "What is it, Monica?"

"It's just that, well, Alice, I want you to know that if you ever want to talk about – _girl stuff_, you know… then, then you can come to me, okay?" Monica said, smiling at the girl.

"Thanks," Ally replied, softly. 

"And… I'm not trying to take the place of your mom, Ally," Monica continued. "But I know that… sometimes, well, a girl needs to talk, and you can't always talk to Chandler, can you?"

Alice giggled. "I can just see myself!"

Monica joined in the laugh, amusing herself with an image of Chandler giving Ally 'The Talk'. Then she sobered herself. "But, still, Ally, I'm here for you – just as much as I am for Kendra."

Alice smiled at her. "Thanks, Monica." She looked truly touched. "I – I know it can't be easy to make that commitment. And I – I'll remember it, I promise." Suddenly, on an impulse, she hugged her. "I love you, Monica."


	12. Phoebe's Surprise

"Hey sweetie," Monica greeted Chandler as he arrived after putting Shawn to bed.

"Hey," he replied.

There was an awkward silence. Neither of them knew where to begin talking about their new relationship. 

"We've got to talk about this," Chandler said, eventually.

"Yeah," Monica agreed.

"I'll go first," offered Chandler. He paused, taking a deep breath. "Right. Monica, I – I like you, right? And I think that we could be good together, but…"

"There's always a 'but'," Monica noted.

"Please, hear me out," Chandler begged. "Look, Mon, I lost the love of my life not quite a year ago. I have two children who are still grieving for their mother and who will hate me for even attempting to fall in love with another woman. I have a brother who has faithfully promised to stand by me, but who will be hurt if I cheat on his beloved sister. And I have friends and family who will hate me forever when they find out that I fathered another child on the day that I fathered Alice. I have lived a lie for fourteen years, but more especially, these past few months, Monica, and now, now, when I have the chance to tell everyone everything, I'm scared. What if they disown me? If they hate me forever, Monica, I wouldn't be able to cope."

Monica smiled, and took Chandler's hand. "Chandler, listen. Sweetie. I – I'm not going to tell anyone about what we did all those years ago. And I'm not going to force you into anything. I'm not going to tell anyone _anything_ until you are ready. We don't have to do anything or say anything or even think anything until you want to." She leaned forward and kissed him gently.

Chandler pulled away. "I – I feel like I'm cheating on Mary."

"Chandler!" Monica said, softly. "That – that's not true. Mary is – Mary isn't here. Mary would have wanted you to move on, wouldn't she?"

Chandler sighed. "I don't know. She could get very jealous."

Monica looked closely at him for a few moments. Then she spoke. "You wanna know something?" He nodded. "Okay. When I went on my first date after – after we were together, before I knew I was pregnant, I felt like I was cheating… on you."

"That's ridiculous!" Chandler burst out, almost laughing.

"I know. But that's how I felt. And then, as Kendra grew up, I was worried about how she'd react to all of my boyfriends, but… not that there were many of them, you understand," she added. "But Kendra… she took it in her stride. So will your kids, Chandler. Ally will come around, and Shawn is too young to really understand."

"He's older than you think."

"Chandler, he's a baby," Monica replied. "And… I know he's grown up quickly, but he's mature, and he'll cope. And Ally… hang it all, Chandler, the girl's nearly fourteen, she acts as though she's sixteen, you're afraid she'll… what? Be traumatised? Hate you forever? It won't be long before she'll be getting boyfriends, and she'll know how you feel."

"Mon…" Chandler began.

"Let _me_ speak… just for a moment," Monica told him. "Chandler. Nearly fifteen years ago, we spent the night together."

"Wow," Chandler interrupted, sarcastically. "Never would've known."

"Chandler!" she complained. "That night… it wasn't my first time or anything, but it was the first time I had ever done anything unpredictable… different… something other than what people used to expect of me. And that night was special to me. Chandler, I fell in love with you that night, and I have loved you ever since."

"Oh… Mon… I – I –" Chandler stuttered. "I don't know what to say."

"Something along the lines of 'Yeah, I feel the same way, I love you too, I want to be—'" Monica was forced to stop when the door was thrown open and Phoebe burst in.

"I need help!" she announced, dramatically.

"Wow, you finally realised," quipped Chandler.

"Chandler, this is _not_ the time," Phoebe scolded him. "I need help. Seriously. Please – and I think you might be the best bet. You know Joey well, don't you?"

"I'm his brother," Chandler replied. "I know him pretty well."

"Brother-in-law," Monica corrected.

"Don't nitpick," Chandler told her.

"I need to know how Joey will react when… when I tell him my news," Phoebe said, softly.

"Well, we might be able to help better if we knew your news," Monica suggested, sharing a smile with Chandler.

"No, yeah, I forgot that, didn't I?" Phoebe realised. "Ah… my news is… well, there is only one way to say this, I guess. It's complicated. It's Joey's, of course, I mean, there's no question about that, but I don't know how I'll cope if he doesn't handle it well…"

"Pheebs?" Monica prompted.

"Oh."

"Phoebe, please, c'mon, tell us," Chandler urged.

"I will. It's hard."

"I can guess," Monica said, softly. "Pheebs? Are you pregnant?"

Phoebe sat down. "Yuh-huh."

"Oh…" Chandler whispered.

Phoebe turned to him. "So, how do you think Joey'll take it?"

The look in Chandler's eyes did not bode well for Phoebe or the baby. "I… I don't know, Pheebs," was all he said.

"You must," Phoebe insisted. "Please! Chandler, I need to know something, some way I can tell him about the baby, please."

"Pheebs," Monica began, thinking hard all the time, "Phoebe, you and Joey are in love, aren't you?"

"Of course," replied Phoebe.

"So… Pheebs, whatever happens, you'll have each other. That's more than I had."

Monica's quiet words were a reassurance to Phoebe. Chandler took over. "Phoebe, do you want this baby?"

"Yes, of course. I love this baby," Phoebe answered, an absent smile playing over her lips.

"Then… you have something more powerful than anything Joey could ever do to you," Chandler whispered, his mind going back to Mary, to Alice and Shawn as babies, to his unborn daughter who had died, to Monica and Kendra, the family he had not known…

"I… yeah, no, I know," Phoebe said, confusedly. "I – when's Joey getting back from his play?"

"It finished at eight," Monica replied. "So he should be back now."

"I – I'm going to see him," Phoebe announced. She stood up, and swept out of the room. Chandler and Monica were left alone.

"Oh my…" Monica said, softly. "Phoebe's pregnant!"

"I can't believe Joey's gonna be a dad," Chandler said, dazed.

After a few silent minutes, Chandler spoke again of their previous conversation. "Monica…"

"Yeah?"

"I… could feel the same way about you," he said, slowly. "But I… don't want to tell people yet. I want to – I want _you_, Monica."

Monica leaned forward and kissed him. Then, slowly, she stood up, and, taking his hand, led him to her bedroom.


	13. Sometimes When We Touch

"Joey! Joey!" Phoebe yelled, hammering on the front door of Ross and Rachel's house. "Joseph, you answer the door _right now_!"

Rachel opened the door. "Phoebe? What…?"

Phoebe pushed past Rachel. "Sorry, Rachel, but I need to speak with Joey. It's urgent."

"It's also eleven-thirty," Rachel replied. "Ben, Emily, and Julia are all in bed. Ross and I were going as well."

"Yeah, yeah, great," Phoebe said, impatiently. "Is Joey in? It's really important."

"I'll get him," Rachel sighed. "Oh, and _do_ come in," she added, sarcastically.

"Thanks."

In a few seconds, Joey and Phoebe were seated on a couch in the living room, with Rachel peeking round the doorframe. As Ross came to move her away, she swatted at his hand. "Don't! I think this is important. If she's going to break up with him, we need to know, so we can comfort him."

That was all that it took to convince Ross to listen in. "Yeah. Good idea, Rach!"

Phoebe and Joey were oblivious to all this. "What's up, Pheebs?" Joey asked, worried. "I only just got in from my play."

"Sorry, I know, I didn't mean to worry you, or to wake up the kids," Phoebe apologised. "It's just… I need to speak to you, urgently."

"Well, I'm here now," said Joey, comfortingly, rubbing her arm. "Don't worry. Tell me, Phoebe. Whatever it is, it'll be okay."

"It'll change everything," Phoebe whispered. "And – I don't know what you'll think."

"Have you cheated on me?" Joey asked, standing up and looking annoyed.

"No, no!" Phoebe said, shocked. "I'm having a baby, that's all."

"Having a baby?" repeated Joey. "As in, like, pregnant? _My_ baby? Oh my God, Phoebe, this is – this is wonderful!"

"You're sure?" Phoebe said, weakly, her eyes filling with tears. Outside, Ross and Rachel were looking at each other with amazed faces.

"How could I be anything else?" Joey demanded. "The woman I love is having my baby… it's scary, sure, but we'll cope."

"Oh…" Phoebe murmured. She hugged Joey, who hugged back for a few moments, then pulled away.

"I have to go tell everyone!" he announced, excitedly. "Oh my God, I can't believe it! I have to tell everyone. Ross! Rachel!" He shouted these last words, and the Gellers rushed into the room to hush him. 

"The kids are sleeping," Ross informed him. 

"Phoebe's pregnant!" Joey yelled, ignoring Ross totally.

"Oh my God, congratulations, you guys," Rachel enthused. 

"Yeah, well done, guys," added Ross.

"I have to ring Chandler!" Joey said, wearing a smile a mile wide. He dialled Monica's number, and sighed when he received no answer. "No one's in. I think I'll go visit them – or no! I've gotta ring my mom!"

"Isn't it like 3 a.m. over there?" Ross pointed out.

"So?" Joey demanded. "She'll be so happy that I'm having a baby that she won't care. I'm 34, she'd given up all hope of me ever having kids."

"Tell her I'm nice," Phoebe pleaded, as Joey dialled.

"Mama? Hey, it's Joey… yeah, sorry it's a weird time, mama," Joey said, smiling at Phoebe. "Sorry mama… mama, look, I have some big news, can you hold the lecture for a moment? Thanks, mama… yeah, sure… I promise… look, do you want to hear my news or not?" he demanded, as Rachel turned away to hide her laughter. "Mama, just stop – stop talking for a second, please… Ok, ah, my girlfriend, Phoebe, she's great, _nice_," he added, shooting Phoebe a look, "She's having my baby, mama. She's pregnant." His smile grew as he said those words. "Thanks mama… yeah, I know… No, we are _not_ engaged, mama… why should we be? Ok, mama, I gotta go, I'll talk to you later, ok… yeah, same, sure, bye!" He put the phone down.

"Mama says she's really happy for us," he informed the gathering. "And now, I'm off to tell my brother the news. Phoebe, you coming?"

"Sure, yeah, I mean, I live there," Phoebe replied, getting up. "See ya, Ross, Rach. Sorry to wake the kids up, but I needed to." They just laughed at her plaintive expression, and Phoebe and Joey left.

* * *

In the meantime, Chandler and Monica were in Monica's room. After the conversation about their relationship, they turned to other things. The radio was on, quietly, so as not to wake Kendra, who slept two doors down. As a new song came on, Monica sat up suddenly. "Oh my God… Chandler!"

"What?" he asked, bewildered.

"This song," she whispered, amazed.

"What about it?"

"It's the song that was playing in the club that night," she told him. "Remember? The night we – the night Kendra was conceived."

"Oh my God," he murmured.

"I love this song…" Monica said, softly. "Love it."

"I remember," Chandler said. "I love this song too."

"It always reminded me of you," Monica said, shyly.

"It reminded _me_ of _you_," Chandler countered.

You ask me if I love you  
And I choke on my reply  
I'd rather hurt you honestly  
Than mislead you with a lie  
And who am I to judge you  
On what you say or do?  
I'm only just beginning to see the real you  
  
And sometimes when we touch  
The honesty's too much  
And I have to close my eyes and hide  
I wanna hold you til I die  
Til we both break down and cry  
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides  
  
Romance and all its strategy  
Leaves me battling with my pride  
But through the insecurity   
Some tenderness survives  
I'm just another writer  
Still trapped within my truth  
A hesitant prize fighter  
Still trapped within my youth  
  
And sometimes when we touch  
The honesty's too much  
And I have to close my eyes and hide  
I wanna hold you til I die  
Til we both break down and cry  
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides  
  
At times I'd like to break you   
And drive you to your knees  
At times I'd like to break through  
And hold you endlessly  
  
At times I understand you   
And I see how hard you've tried  
I've watched while love commands you  
And I've watched love pass you by  
  
At times I think we're drifters  
Still searching for a friend  
A brother or a sister  
But then the passion flares again  
  
And sometimes when we touch  
The honesty's too much  
And I have to close my eyes and hide  
I wanna hold you til I die  
Til we both break down and cry  
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

As the song finished, the door burst open.

"Chandler, guess what?" Joey yelled, before realising what was happening in front of him. "Oh my God…"

"Chandler and Monica!" Phoebe shouted. "Oh, my eyes! Chandler and Monica!"

The two lovers broke apart instantly. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Joey demanded.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: This chapter features the song 'Sometimes When We Touch' by Dan Hill. I do not own this song.


	14. One Long Night

The door burst open.

"Chandler, guess what?" Joey yelled, before realising what was happening in front of him. "Oh my God…"

"Chandler and Monica!" Phoebe shouted. "Oh, my eyes! Chandler and Monica!"

The two lovers broke apart instantly. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Joey demanded.

* * *

Chandler had to fight against the instinct to make a sarcastic comment.

"N-nothing," Monica stammered.

"You were having sex!" Phoebe accused her. "Oh my God! I can't believe you were having sex! This is even bigger than the fact that I'm pregnant!"

This caught Monica's attention for a moment. "Oh my God! Really?"

"Yeah. Isn't it great?" Phoebe beamed.

"What about Mary-Angela?" Joey demanded of Chandler. "You're cheating on my sister!"

"No, I'm not," replied Chandler. "She died, Joey. She died almost sixteen months ago."

"I don't believe you!" Joey snapped, storming out.

"Joey!" Chandler sighed, and began to get up. However, before he did, he turned to Phoebe. "Pheebs, could you – not look?"

"Sure, don't worry," replied Phoebe, not moving her eyes.

"Phoebe!" Monica said, sharply. 

"Sorry." But Phoebe still caught a peek as Chandler got up and into a robe – Monica's robe. He left, and Phoebe and Monica were alone.

"Pheebs, it's – not what you think," Monica began. Phoebe shot her a quizzical look. "Ok, it's exactly what you think, but still… I love him, Phoebe!"

"Really?" Phoebe remarked, shocked. "Well, Kendra gets both her parents, I s'pose. That's good."

"Pheebs, I'm not doing this for Kendra," Monica told her friend. "I'm doing this for – well, for me, I s'pose. And I'm doing it for Chandler. Look, Phoebe, this is –"

Monica stopped suddenly as Kendra rolled into the room. "Mom?" she asked.

"Kendy! What – what are you doing? You should be in bed!" Monica said, shocked.

"I was. I heard the noises and got up to see what the matter is," Kendra replied. "Why is Joey yelling at Chandler, Mom?" Then she caught sight of Chandler through the doorway, wearing Monica's robe, and her quick mind put two and two together. "Oh my…"

"Damnit, he's yelling?" Monica sighed. "I'd better go see what's happening."

"What _is_ happening?" Alice queried, pushing the door open.

"This gets worse and worse," Monica moaned.

"Why's Uncle Joey layin' into Dad?" Alice asked, curiously. "What'd he do?"

"Why's Joey here so late?" Kendra asked.

"Why's—?" Alice began, but Monica cut her off.

"Stop why-ing, please! First of all, Joey is here because – well, it _is_ Phoebe's news, so I'll let her tell it," Monica offered.

"Oh, yeah, ok," agreed Phoebe. "Girls, I'm having a baby – Joey's baby."

"Oh my God!" Kendra squealed. "A baby?"

"I'm gonna have a cousin!" Alice screamed.

"Hush!" Monica warned them. "Isn't Shawn still asleep?"

Alice shook her head. "Doubt it. Takes him hours to get to sleep."

"Still, he might be sleeping—" Phoebe was beginning, when a tired-looking Shawn poked his head around the door.

"Why's Daddy shouting, Ally?" he asked, shoving his thumb into his mouth.

"Oh, Monica was just 'bout to tell us," Alice told him. "And guess what?"

"Wha'?"

"Uncle Joey and Phoebe are having a baby!"

"Like Mummy was?" Shawn asked.

"Yeah," Alice replied.

There was silence for a few seconds, until Shawn repeated his original question. "Why's Daddy shouting?"

"Mon?" Phoebe prompted.

"Ugh," Monica complained, glaring at Phoebe. "Ah… I think you should ask your father, Ally and Shawn."

"If it means getting an answer, then _I_'ll ask," Kendra offered. "Although I have an idea," she added, finishing on a teasing note.

"Ooh, what?" Alice queried, excitedly.

"Mom is in bed," Kendra began, a mischievous grin on her face, "And Chandler is wearing Mom's robe…

Alice's face changed as she worked out what Kendra was insinuating. "Bloody hell! You're kidding, aren't you?" She accompanied this with a shriek of laughter. As she caught sight of Monica's anxious look, however, the laughter died away. "Shit. You didn't. Please, please tell me you didn't."

"I – I – " Monica began, but trailed off. How was she to reason with a girl still grieving for her mother?

"I can't believe you," Alice stormed. "Did you not remember that my dad _just_ lost his wife? Are you trying to replace my mum? And I s'pose your little _speech_ this evening was to prepare me, huh? And I fell for it! Oh my… what was it, a way to butter up poor little Alice? Did you and Dad cook it up together? Oh!"

"No, no, Ally, I meant that, I truly did," Monica said, desperately. "I really – I wasn't – your father didn't know about it, it wasn't his idea, honestly, Ally. And I – "

"Leave it," Ally snapped, and began to rush out of the room. "'Scuse, Kendra."

"No!" Kendra retorted. "Ally, I might be out of order here, but – but Ally, surely, you can't believe that Mom is trying to replace your mom, can you?"

"I can and I will!"

"No, Ally, Mom wouldn't!" Kendra replied. "You've known Mom for ages, you _must_ know that. And Ally, your mom didn't _just_ die. She died eighteen months ago – "

"Sixteen," Shawn corrected her.

"Whatever," Kendra dismissed it. "What, do you think that they just jumped into bed together at the first opportunity?"

Monica had grown darkly red. "Kendra, please don't speak like that," she said.

Alice ignored Monica. "Kendra, I don't know _how_ long they've been screwing each other!"

"We haven't!" Monica said. "It was only tonight."

Alice glared at her. "You mean you wanted to have a one-night stand?"

"No, I don't, _and_ you know it!" Monica snapped. "You are deliberately misunderstanding me here, Alice."

"I'm not, Monica," replied Alice. "Look, just look at it from my perspective for a moment…"

"No, you look at it from _my_ perspective," Monica corrected her. "I have been single for fourteen years, Alice. That is a long time. In all my life, I have only ever loved one man, the father of my daughter." Kendra shot her a look that she ignored. "I've spent my life raising Kendra, and trying to make enough money to afford a nice house and nice things. Is it so much to ask that I am allowed to have a relationship?"

"A relationship? _Not_ just sex?" Alice queried.

"No. I don't know what you think of me, Ally, but I do care about more than just sex," Monica retorted.

"Sorry," Ally said, hurriedly.

"Don't be. I just – Ally, I want to be sure that there are no hard feelings between you and me, ok?" Monica checked. "'Cause I want to keep seeing your father. I'd do it with or without your approval, but I don't want – I mean, Ally, I would like for you to approve."

"You want my _blessing_?" Alice asked, amazed.

"I… I wouldn't call it that, but I s'pose so," Monica replied.

"I – I can't give you my blessing," Alice told her, softly. "But I… I'll not do anything against you and Dad. I'll accept it. That's the most I can do, I'm afraid. Is that ok?"

Chandler and Joey entered the room at that point. Joey nodded as he heard Alice speaking. "That's what I said, Ally."

"Joe, I wish – I wish you'd understand," Chandler said, his voice breaking slightly. "You're my brother, Joe. I want your approval."

"I've given you my acceptance, Chandler," Joey replied. "Please, just – just leave it at that. Mary was my sister. It's hard to see you with anyone but her. Oh, if I _can_ ever give you my blessing, then I'll give it to you wholeheartedly. I'll tell you the moment I reach it. But Chandler… Mary was the person I was closest to."

"She was my _wife_," Chandler said softly. "My _wife_, ok? I was married to her for fourteen years. I had three children with her. I _loved_ her. But, Joe, she died. And yeah, I was devastated, I still am. But, Joey, life goes on. I'm moving on. Wouldn't Mary want me to be happy? Or would she rather I sat around moping for the rest of my life?"

"It's just… I never expected to see you with anyone except Mary-Angela," Joey said, somewhat haltingly.

"I know. I know." Chandler gave a sigh. "But Joey, I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone! I might live for forty or fifty more years, and I want someone to be with."

"I – I understand," Joey replied. "But – why Monica?"

"Hey!" Monica protested.

"I – I don't know," Chandler said, thoughtfully. 

"Is it just a one-night thing?" Joey persisted. "Do you just want sex, or do you want to spend the rest of your life with _her_?"

Chandler looked around. "Y'know, I'd feel a _lot_ more comfortable if I wasn't having this conversation in front of my three kids and the woman I'm talking about…" He stopped when he realised that everyone was looking at him. "What?"

"Your _three_ kids?" Joey repeated. "Who's the third kid?" He looked around the room, his eyes passing over Ally and Shawn, and settling on Kendra, who found herself growing red at the intensity of Joey's stare. "Wait a moment!" he said, loudly. "Kendra, c'mere a second!"

Not daring to do anything but obey, Kendra moved over to where Joey was standing. The electric whirring of her chair sounded unbearably loud in the silent room. Chandler was mentally kicking himself, Phoebe and Monica were exchanging panicked looks, Shawn looked confused, and Joey and Alice, who was starting to think along the same lines as her uncle, were beginning to think that Chandler's slip of the tongue was not a mistake. Kendra was almost scared. After all, she was the one causing the trouble.

"You – Chandler, please tell me that this isn't what I think it is," Joey said, turning to his brother-in-law.

Chandler looked panicked. "I would."

Alice's face turned fiery. "Dad."

"Yeah, sweetie?" Chandler asked, praying that Alice hadn't worked it out too. From her face, she probably had, but it was always worth praying, right?

"Dad, please, oh God, Kendra isn't your daughter, is she?" Alice asked.

Chandler shot a worried look at Monica, who returned it. And Kendra, the cause of the trouble, wished that she could slip between the people and escape.

"You're being a bit presumptuous, aren't you?" Monica pointed out. "I mean, Chandler goofed up, that's all. Two, three, there's no difference really."

Joey and Alice looked at each other. "I s'pose so," Joey agreed. "Yeah, sure. 'Cause you and Chandler never met before we came here, and anyway, Chandler was with my sister when Kendra was born, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I was, man," Chandler said, smiling, relieved.

"Ok, well, I mean, I never told you my news," Joey remembered.

"Oh yeah, what was your news?" 

"Phoebe's pregnant!" Joey squealed. "Isn't it wonderful, Chandler? I'm gonna be a daddy!"

"That's great, man," Chandler said, smiling. "Well done, congratulations – you too, Pheebs."

  


"Thanks," Phoebe said, quietly. "Now, Joey, I – we've disturbed these lot enough. I think we should go, let them sleep."

"As long as by sleep you mean _sleep_, and not sex," Joey agreed. "I don't want to think of Chandler and Monica having sex."

"Ok," Chandler consented, whilst sharing a look with Monica that clearly said 'no way'. "You don't have to think of me and Monica having sex ever again Joe. I promise, alright?"

"Thanks, man." Joey gave a final smile, and left. Phoebe departed to her own room, and Chandler left to put Shawn to bed again. Alice and Kendra betook themselves into the hallway to talk.

"Can you believe it?" Alice asked.

"I – I'm not sure," Kendra said, thoughtfully. "It's a lot to take." In her heart, she was thrilled. But she was also disappointed. It seemed as though she would never be able to have a father now.


End file.
